The Power of Perspective

You limit yourself. Yes, it is true. Each day you behave in much the same way as you have always done. You act out your habitual ways of dealing with people, and you communicate as well or as badly as you normally do.

Although you know better, you do not apply all that you have learned when it comes to making the most of yourself. If this is true for you, then how are you going to improve?

Awareness is key. Until you spot what you are doing you will not know where to make changes to how you talk to people. How can you change what needs to be improved if you do not see it yourself?

There is a very simple way to generate awareness of how you behave with other people. A way to develop perspective that is not clouded by your biased perceptions.

Three Steps to Powerful Perspective:

1 Be a neutral observer

Choose a recent conversation you had which did not go as well as you would have liked. Next, pretend for a moment that you are a neutral observer of the conversation. In your imagination go back in time to that incident and see yourself talking to that other person. Picture the surroundings, hear the sounds and feel the atmosphere of the place.

Then run through the entire conversation again, only this time imagine that you are the neutral observer. See yourself and the other person talking and listening to each other and notice the dynamics of the conversation. Pay special attention to the non verbal reactions.

By doing this you will be gathering a lot of information that will be helpful in noticing what works and what does not work in your communication.

2 Be the other person

Revisit the conversation again only this time cycle through it as if you were the other person. Imagine what it was like to be there looking at you and listening to you. You are now walking in their shoes so as to get a close up look at what it is like to deal with you.

You may find that you spot the reasons why the conversation did not go as well as you would have liked.

3 Ask yourself - how did I get the result I achieved?

In this stage of the process you put the responsibility on your shoulders alone for the outcome of the conversation. Blaming others will not help you to think creatively for solutions and ways to better your conversational skills.

Revisit that conversation one more time as the neutral observer and one time as the other person. In each case look for the answer to the question: how did I get this result? Then ask yourself: what could I do differently to get what I really want?

You will discover ways to change your approach that can dramatically improve how you communicate when it matters most.

By using this approach I often spot opportunities to use more emphasis on key points and the value of being enthusiastic when I want someone to consider my opinion. At other times I notice that I could listen more carefully instead of just getting carried away with my own agenda.

Peter Murphy is a freelance business writer. He publishes a free weekly ezine full of practical tips for communicating at your best under pressure. All new subscribers receive a free e-book with powerful strategies for being at your best.

---

The Power of Desire- Part 2

Let's continue where we left off in Part 1...We have stated that it was in the power of man to Create Desire; not only to be its... Read More

What Next?

When we are faced with making a change we often feel like we don't know what to do. The kicker is that USUALLY we do know what... Read More

Living Abundantly: May the Force Be With You!

Perhaps, you have heard the phrase "May the force be with you" from your favorite Episode of the Star Wars movies. The Star Wars movies explore the... Read More

Dont Seek Success; Seek Self-Actualization

"You make a living by what you get. You make a life by what you give."So said Winston Churchill. Cooperation and giving is better for you than... Read More

The Beast

What does one do when one is too old, too weak, and feels powerless and regretful? What does one do when one looks back at his life... Read More

How to Attract Wealth

Have you been struggling with making ends meet? Are you tired of not having enough? Then I am sure you will benefit enormously by reading on...A few... Read More

Who is Directing You?

Recently I had the opportunity to meet a long term mystic. During a lecture he was presenting on a mystic's role in society, he uttered the words... Read More

Beads?A Sign of the Times?

When you hear the word "beads," do you immediately think of jewelry? Or do you think of Rosary beads or some other non-jewelry use of beads-beaded dresses,... Read More

Motivation for Life: What Would You Do if You Could Have a Do Over?

"The only thing it takes 365 days to change is a year" - Hypnotherapist David Block"If at any time you make a mistake and want to change... Read More

Follow Your Passion

The key to a successful life lies in following your passions. When you do this the Universe responds in a dynamic way. This can only occur when... Read More

5 Powerful Steps To Unleashing Your Creative Self

There is a thread of certainty that runs through many lives. It is sensed as a measured and anticipated rhythm of predictability built upon our notions of... Read More

Creating Your Own Destiny

If you don't know where you are going, you won't know how to get there. How can you get a sense of purpose or meaning in life... Read More

Plants, Herbs, And Roots For Love

In the column Plants, Herbs and Roots For Prosperity, I explain in detail how to practically use a plant material to attract things to you, so refer... Read More

Closing the Feedback Loop

In earlier articles, I've often spoken about the supreme importance of becoming a good listener. I've even gone as far as to suggest that listening might be... Read More

The Chi of New Homes: Feng Shui-ness and Destiny

When my wife and I were searching for a new Las Vegas home in 2002, we wanted it to have a solid foundation based on Feng Shui... Read More

Affirmations - Anxiety & Panic

Using affirmations can be a very powerful tool. You can use it in many aspects of your life to achieve certain goals and to ultimately effect the... Read More

Harvest Moon Lessons

The full moon in September is often bigger and brighter than full moons in other months. It is usually referred to as the Harvest Moon. The reason... Read More

Why Cant You be More Like Me?

Here is a non-scientific, but fun way to see which style you may be. Read the poem below and then identify which one of the styles is... Read More

Your Default Settings

Buy a computer--any computer--and it comes loaded with software automatically set to certain default settings. For example, the default setting for Word is Times New Roman 12-point.... Read More

4 Important Conversation Tips for Your Personal and Professional Lives

If you are searching for a way to improve your communication skills at work and in your personal life, here are some conversation tips that will give... Read More

Clarity of Vision

Imagine trying to drive at night in your car with windows covered in Vaseline - or try walking around for a day with prescription glasses that aren't... Read More

Rising Above the Average

There is nothing more motivating than reading a story about someone who comes from a poor, difficult life and rises above it to do so much with... Read More

The Big Key to Freedom

When our clients are exposed to our company, they are often impressed with how we really stress the concept of Freedom - and well they should be.... Read More

The ?Stand-Out? Principle

Think for a moment about all the people you know that Stand Out from their peers.Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky and Tiger Woods may come to mind. Singers... Read More

Be Not Afraid, Ye of Midlife

Millions of people face huge changes in their lives during the midlife years and most seem to be glad they made the changes, but only if they've... Read More

The Keys To Faster Evolution

Prosperity is management of positive energy. It's individual capacity to pour energy out in the world and re-circulate back in our life. The greater we share our... Read More