Babies Bring Love, Joy, and Opinions

The old saying "babies aren't born with instruction manuals" has opened the door for unwanted advice from family and friends, alike. If you're a mother, specifically a "new" mother, at first you may appreciate the guidance of those that went before you. But eventually even the most patient of women will break. You will most likely become a hermit, hiding the car in the garage, locking the doors, turning the ringer off and avoiding anyone that perceives themselves as an "expert" on the subject of motherhood and newborns. So before you become a recluse and start avoiding all human contact; here's some more advice on "unwanted" advice.

Often times, a new mother's insecurities get the best of her, and in all honesty, this happens to all mothers; not just the "new" ones. As mothers, we're always questioning our abilities to raise our children. You want the best for them and fear you'll make bad choices, its human nature. Therefore, when someone offers advice or guidance, we often take their words as criticism. But in all reality, most family and friends mean to help, not judge. Open your mind to their words; ignore the little voice inside your head that says they're judging you. In most instances, these same people have been giving you "unwanted" advice for years and you've never paid any attention to it. The insecurities of having a newborn often times warrants defensive behaviors when faced with unwanted advice. However, motherhood is a learning experience; it starts at the birth and never ends. Listening to family and friends that have walked in your shoes before can, however, be a soothing and rewarding experience.

Everyone will have opinions on certain circumstances and if you listen closely, even theirs will differ from one another. Pretty soon, you find yourself throwing your hands up and surrendering like General Lee. However, often times by educating yourself on what the actual "experts" say can eliminate the frustration and the insecurities that a new mom will face. Educating yourself on the best choices that you can make for your newborn can build self-confidence, self-respect, and sanity.

It is very important for mother's to have a good relationship with their infant's pediatrician, as well. Often times, the trust you put into your child's doctor will help fight off those insecurities that you may have. A pediatrician sees most infants several times during the first few months of their lives. These are great opportunities for mother's to ask questions. Keep a notebook handy, write down concerns that you have, or questions.

Lighthearted advice is just that, when given it's meant to be taken as helpful hints and suggestions. However, in some instances, you will have family and friends insisting on "their way" of doing things. When this circumstance occurs, be prepared. Thank the person and tell them you will consider their advice, quote what you have read from child-rearing books, explain to them that you and your child's pediatrician has discussed the matter and you're following doctors orders. If all else fails, change the subject or leave the room.

In many circumstances, especially those that are short-term, you may consider following the person's advice while they are present. In all reality, they will leave and when they do, so can their advice. Short-term circumstances that have no long-term effects are just that. They won't warp or change the big picture. If your mother-in-law comes to your house to "help", and suggests adding more blankets to the crib or turning the heat up because the baby looks cold, just go with it. When she does leave, you can quickly undo the heartfelt actions.

Often times, you may find yourself in a circumstance where all other methods of deterring an opinion or advice have failed. You have tried avoiding the subject, quoting a doctor or expert, and even ignoring the advice. But yet still, the person insists on you listening to them. It is at this time that you have to result to what I call, "the truth". In the kindest fashion possible, you explain to them your honest feelings on the subject, you express gratitude that they care, but in all honesty, the child is yours and you know what's best. If you're uncomfortable saying this to someone; ask a friend, your husband, or another family member to talk to the person and explain to them your true feelings on the situation.

It's important to surround yourself with positive people. If possible, find other mother's that share your views and values. Then, as mother's you can swap stories, not advice.

http://www.womenshealthcaretopics.com/newborn_baby.htm

Dr. James Brann is a board certified Obstetrician and Gynecologist and a Fellow of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. He is also the Editor of Women's Healthcare Topics an information source for all women.

http://www.womenshealthcaretopics.com

---

How to Choose a Baby Gate

Once your baby is out of their crib and playpen, you're going to need some way of ensuring their safety. That's why learning how to choose a... Read More

Baby Shower Gifts

As a host, you need to consider the people that will be on the invitation list. Sometimes, finances are tight and buying gifts are tough. You have... Read More

The Baby Stroller- How To Choose

You will need to begin gathering the things your baby will need, now that you got the news that you are expecting a bundle of joy. You... Read More

Helping Your Baby Develop Character

How Can We Help Children Learn about Character?Children learn about strong character when parents and other adults in their daily lives· set a good example through their... Read More

IQ, Intelligence, and Brain Development- Another Breastfeeding Benefit

Modern parents want to do everything they can to help their children's brain development. Never before have there been so many products and books sold that claim... Read More

To Invite or not to Invite the Dad to the Shower?

Do you invite dad to the baby shower? As per the old tradition, the baby showers are "ladies only" celebrations and generally the dad did not attend... Read More

Mobiles For Babies Can Prevent Sudden Infant Death Syndrome

Mobiles are well known for its effectiveness in capturing and keeping baby's attention. Colorful and moving mobiles will stimulate the baby's brain and encourages him to explore... Read More

Getting to Know Your Baby: Babys Second Month Guide

Time has flown. Your little bundle of joy has been a part of your home for more than four weeks now. The new dad and mum are... Read More

Language Development In Your Baby

From birth to one year your baby will go from crying to cooing to talking. Those are amazing milestones for your baby to accomplishment in such a... Read More

Its Not Too Late to Vaccinate Against the Fear of Failure Flu

There's an epidemic in our culture. Have you heard of the 'fear of failure flu?'Early symptoms include sweaty palms and a knot in the stomach. Those in... Read More

A Special Formula for Baby!

Choosing to breastfeed the baby is one of the most important decisions a mother can make. Usually that decision was made even before the baby was conceived.... Read More

How to Buy Infants? Best Educational Toys?

Buying educational toys for infants can be difficult, because infants seem to do so little that educating them right after birth might strike you as a bit... Read More

Facts You Should Know About Baby Shower Etiquette

Whether you're hosting a baby shower for the first time or not, chances are you've got some questions regarding the right baby shower etiquette. You want to... Read More

When Should Your Baby Wear Shoes?

There is actually a bit of controversy about this question. Some pediatricians recommend that your baby not wear shoes until at least 15 months of age. Others... Read More

Quality Baby Strollers Should Last for Years

The baby carriage or buggy has come along way. Thanks to companies such as Cosco, Graco, Peg Perego, Evenflo, Century and Maclaren strollers have become an indispensable... Read More

How to Have the Perfect Baby Boy Invitations

Baby boy invitations are the first thing you'll need to share the good news of the new arrival with all your friends. It's time to celebrate and... Read More

Stem Cells Taken From A Babys Cord

Stem Cells..An increasing number of parents are storing stem cells from their baby's cord. Hopefully these will not be needed, but if your child develops leukaemia or... Read More

Does The Size Of Your Baby Matter?

Does size matter? No, not that! Is your baby too fat, too thin, is she eating too much or not enough? Not only have you got your... Read More

The Baby Crib: Your Child?s First Bed

It is up to you as parents whether you want a baby crib to be your child's first bed or not. Some parents are proponents of "co-sleeping,"... Read More

Baby Expense: What To Do When Baby

As you probably know, baby expense should be high on your list of things to plan for, before the baby comes. There is no cheap way to... Read More

Bye-Bye Bottle

It's finally time. My child is old enough to be drinking from a cup; a sippy, if not an open-mouthed one. I reason that we've been making... Read More

Baby Shower Invitations Add Style To Baby Announcements

Baby shower invitations set the tone for the big dayBaby shower invitations reflect the joy you feel at this special time in your life. Pregnancy is often... Read More

Baby Shower Invitations Ideas

The first thing you need to do before you order invitations or make your own baby shower invitations is to decide on the theme of your party!... Read More

Baby Shower Games For Your Special Baby Shower

So you're holding a baby shower? Then you will need baby shower games to keep the guests entertained. While the baby shower is a good time to... Read More

Theory of Child Cognitive Development

Jean Piaget has allowed us many insights into child cognitive development and his valuable research made great inroads concerning brain functioning in general. According to Piaget and... Read More

A Baby Shower Cake is the Highlight of the Baby Shower

When you're holding a baby shower one of the most important items that you'll serve is the baby shower cake. Cakes should be the highlight of the... Read More