Fear of Being Outsourced? Fight Back

Me, outsourced? Impossible. How could they replace a business-humor columnist? But my brother-in-law, the radiologist, told me his hospital was threatening to cut his position because they had found a medical group out of India that would read MRIs at half the cost.

He warned me, "Hesh, don't be so smug. No one is indispensable in today's world economy."

He was right. I had become blasé. I needed to diversify and find readers outside the USA, especially in the booming call-centers of India.

Do Indians find our business customs humorous? I decided to do some research. I called the IBM help desk. I asked the technician where he was located. He said "Birmingham, Alabama," and he said it with pride.

I asked for his boss. I told her that I wanted to be helped by someone in Bombay. "What? I usually get the opposite requests," she blurted out.

I told her that I found their staff people in India to be more helpful and courteous. And I found their English easier to comprehend compared to the southern accents from Birmingham.

Within seconds, I was talking to Bombay. After spending a few minutes on a fictitious problem, I asked my help-support person what he found humorous about working with Americans.

He said, "Sir, it would be inappropriate for me to comment on you Americans and your business practices."

I kept on digging. "You must be frustrated spending eight hours a day listening to us Americans. How do you blow off steam?

He suggested I call a business radio talk show in Bombay where the locals call in with their problems of working with westerners. It was called "Can I Speak to your Supervisor, Please."

Using my computer I was able to find a real cheap Internet-phone line to Bombay, and I called. The radio show's producer doubted my veracity when I told him I was calling from the USA. He thought it was a crank call. But when he listened to my accent - half Pittsburgh and the other half Brooklyn - he knew no Indian could impersonate that dialect.

He reminded me to use only my first name, when being interviewed. The talk show host began, "Our next caller is a Mister Hesh from the USA. We are very lucky to have an overseas caller. Welcome to our show."

"What is it about doing business with Americans that you find most intriguing or disconcerting?" I asked.

"A great question," the talk show host realized he had an issue that could generate some controversy. "Mr. Hesh, why not hold on as we let our callers respond."

The first caller began, "Mr. Hesh, you Americans have such a childish belief system. You expect every problem to be solvable. Our culture has taught us the inevitability of misfortune. I want to say to callers, 'Sorry, Mrs. Grady, your hard drive is forever broken and can never be repaired. Please unplug it and grieve for the next 10 minutes.' But, I am not allowed."

The second caller said. "We are obligated to try to sell you a software upgrade with each call. We think that this is very inhospitable. In our culture when someone calls for help, one must never try to gain an advantage from another's adversity. But we are taught that this is what makes you Americans so wealthy."

The producer asked me to call again. He had dozens of local callers waiting to talk to me. Before I knew it I was a radio personality in India with my own morning business call-in show.

Now, I visit India almost twice a month. I am a regular commentator on their TV morning shows and a sought-after lecturer at business conferences.

The travel back and forth is brutal even in first class. Plus, because of the time difference I have to be wide awake from 2 a.m to 5 a.m to take the calls from my audience. Why I am actually considering moving to India permanently.

Somehow the governor found out about my impending move (I bet it was from my mother) and he called asking that I not take my business overseas. It would be a terrible loss to our region's image.

He had funds to help businesses keep jobs here. I would qualify for an economic-development grant if I did not relocate. I guess it is like paying farmers not to plant corn. (Do they still do that?)

I called my brother-in-law with my good news, and said, "I told you going to medical school was a poor career choice. You should have majored in English, like I did."

Hesh Reinfeld writes a syndicated business humor column. You can read additional examples of his columns on his website: http://www.heshreinfeld.com Or contact him at hesh1@comcast.net

---

So, Your Made A Mistake

Of course, mistakes are important. Two facts put those you make in perspective. One, everyone who plays the game makes mistakes. Two, that you make mistakes is... Read More

How To Receive Payment as a Freelance Translator?

A problem most freelance translators are facing with is how to receive payment. In particular: How to receive payment for small jobs. Many translation agencies are reluctant... Read More

5 Resume Mistakes Telecommuters Often Make

Finding a legit telecommute job can be difficult. Telecommute jobs are in high demand and hundreds if not thousands of other people are competing for the same... Read More

5 Ways to Drastically Improve Your Resume in 10 Minutes of Less

Follow these quick and easy tips to build yourself a better resume in under 10 minutes flat.* Use strong, action oriented language that describes specific skills or... Read More

Just a Series of Choices

Steve's a pretty regular guy ? wife, 4 kids in their blended family, 12+ years of engineering experience, a degree, mortgage, car payments, some debt? and feeling... Read More

Im just me - An Overview of an Web er.. Designer, Developer, Consultant and Friend

I am going to give you a breakdown of my ... er ... work ... playtime .... income ....I'm a UK based Web Designer, Web Developer, Internet... Read More

Self-Preservation Techniques For The Unemployed

Looking for work can be difficult, frustrating, anxiety-provoking, and demeaning.There are few situations we encounter in life where we feel so powerless. Not only do we have... Read More

Do You Have a Hotsy-Totsy Resume?

I begin this article with a bit of slang description. What do I mean by a "hotsy totsy" resume? I mean one that does the following for... Read More

Factual Employment Screening Part 1

We have all heard in recent years that the need for a substantive policy of conducting pre-and post-employment background checks exists in more than just defense contractor... Read More

Career Development - When Its Time for a Change

There's a certain courage required to hear your gut. To really be true to how you are feeling. And that is never more important than in your... Read More

Are You Bored By What You Do?

Is your working life in the doldrums? Do you feel stuck in a rut? Uncertain about the future? Depressed by what you can see ahead? Still looking... Read More

Importance Of Your Job Search

So that you can decide just how critical your job hunt is in your total life scheme, let's put a kind of frame around the importance of... Read More

How to Be Prepared for a Layoff

If you are concerned that your company might be planning a layoff, your best course of action is to be prepared. Employees often see warning signs that... Read More

The Big Mo : Momentum and the Hiring Process

Momentum as defined by Webster's is: strength or force gained by motion or through the development of events. For our purposes, the interview process is a "development... Read More

Medical Billing And Coding Profession

Medical billers and coders are in high demand among the allied health occupations. According to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), health information technicians are one... Read More

How to Pick the Best Career For You , Part 2: From Exposure-to-Opportunity

Gain an audience by recognizing opportunity There's a sexier method to salsa into a great career with less tripping and more flair. Look for problems to solve... Read More

How To Type A Resume For Employers

Learning how to type a resume may feel like a daunting task. Even the most affluent writers have asked themselves, how to type a mind-blowing resume. Follow... Read More

How to Change Careers and Still Pay the Bills - 5 Key Steps

Studies show that more than 50% of people are unhappy in their jobs yet few will actually make a career change in 2005. Why? Most people let... Read More

How NOT to Write a Resume

You can learn a lot about how to do something right by first learning what NOT to do.Take resumes, for example.I review about 200-300 a month, and... Read More

Can You Tell Me Something About Yourself!

Interview Question, "Tell Me Something About Yourself?""Tell me about yourself" is the query, posted by one of the members and since yesterday I happen to go through... Read More

Create a Network and Catapult Your Job Search

Networking is still known as a great job-search strategy, yet it eludes some individuals simply because they don't know how to go about it. Individuals also tend... Read More

Useless Resume Objectives

What's wrong with an objective on a resume? The problem with objectives on resumes is that a typical objective is self-centered and self-serving; therefore, it is useless.... Read More

A Concept That Could Double Youre Income in Mystery Shopping

Do you want to double, or increase significantly you're income in mystery shopping? If yes, I'll be sharing to you an age old concept. Now you might... Read More

Dress For Success

You have heard the phrase, "Dress for Success." This is very important in your job search. First impressions can make or break an interview, so presenting a... Read More

How to Manage Your Career Like a Business

Look upon yourself as a company with a product or service to sell. Understand your market and devise a dynamic marketing campaign, remembering that companies hire employees... Read More

Find Free Resumes Online

Have you been spending money on countless job boards, only to find that they don't offer the types of candidates you need? If the answer is yes,... Read More