Job Search: The End of the Line

There is an end to the job search tunnel!

It has been a long, hard road: layoff, unemployment, fear, depression, and occasionally panic or despair. Beyond the trauma of losing your job stretches the uncomfortable, stress filled nightmare of looking for work. Emotionally reeling from the blows of joblessness, you picked yourself up and cast yourself out into the mind-numbing, ego-destructive, judgmental world of the job seeker.

Now the nightmare is over. The offer has been made and accepted: you are going back to work.

Do you feel elated? At times, probably so. Do you also feel deflated? Again, probably so. When we are actively involved in looking for work, we tend to feel that once we are offered a position, all will be right with the world, the long-borne burden will be off our shoulders, and our mental outlook will be bright and positive.

Don't be surprised or upset if you don't experience an unalloyed sense of joy and optimism. It is not unusual to encounter feelings of disappointment and apathy, Your family and friends are totally delighted for you, so you develop feelings of guilt for not being as happy and relieved as everyone else appears.

Be kind to yourself. Become aware of what you are experiencing so you can accept it for what it is and become your own primary source of support. Consider these events:

1. You have just been through a harrowing ordeal that required you to marshal all your resources to focus on one goal: finding employment. You harnessed your anxiety by pouring out adrenaline to keep yourself active and fighting fit. You buried your concerns about other aspects of your life in order to concentrate on one single priority. Now that you have attained your goal, there is no more focus for your emotional and physiological energies, they simply swirl around in disarray. When such an all-encompassing goal is accomplished, there is suddenly a temporary vacuum. For the moment, you don't know what to do with yourself, a predicament that leads to mood swings, a sense of loss, a vague but powerful restlessness that is as unpleasant as it is unexpected.

2. Although most of us abhor the agonies and drudgery of looking for work, there are emotional elements that are provocative and pleasant. We may hate being jobless and yearn to have a known routine and a specific position, but the unknown with its endless possibilities and immense potential can be seriously seductive. No one job is ever going to fulfill all of our fantasies. It can only circumscribe our limitless dreams.

It is rather like planning a major vacation trip. The excitement is in deciding where to go and what to see, as if the whole world were our personal oyster. Once we have selected our destiny and then completed our trip, we look back in enjoyment and treasure the memories but never quite recapture the level of excitement of that initial anticipation.

Confronting the unavoidable limitations that any one position will impose on our inner vision leads to a nagging sense of having been cheated out of some of our expectations. No matter how wonderful the Christmas present we receive may be, it never quite matches the thrill of seeing it sitting under the tree, brightly wrapped and incredibly desirable necause it could be absolutely anything.

3. A period of time without work destroys much of the ordinary structure of our lives. Despite the unexpected free time it provides, we tend not to make productive use of much of it. One reason we lose time is our emotional distress which leaves us drained, listless, and disconnected. Another cause is that there are no time pressures or deadlines. If we don't get it done today, there will be time tomorrow. We no longer have to squeeze in extra chores between the demands of work and our everyday lives so we don't fit them in at all.

If we reproach ourselves for our lack of action and poor motivation, we rationalize that our energy needs to be conserved for the demands of job search. Once the job hunt ends, we are confronted with the knowledge that we have squandered vast amounts of time and will now have to take action when our available time will be limited by work demands. Guilt and self-disgust further deflate our mood.

Give yourself time to gradually wind down. Allow yourself to get rid of the tension by refocusing on relaxation: sleeping, exercising, shopping, walking, meditating, just doing nothing -- whatever seems to work for you. Accept that your intermittent distress is a natural consequence of your unemployment experience. Watch your changing emotions with understanding and affection. View your inner turmoil with patience and compassion and with the sure knowledge that your own industrious efforts led to your success and have earned you a well-deserved period of self-indulgence.

As you gradually regain your physical and emotional balance, you can start to truly bask in the enjoyment of reconnecting with the world of work.

Virginia Bola operated a rehabilitation company for 20 years, developing innovative job search techniques for disabled workers, while serving as a respected Vocational Expert in Administrative, Civil and Workers' Compensation Courts. Author of an interactive and emotionally supportive workbook, The Wolf at the Door: An Unemployment Survival Manual, and a monthly ezine, The Worker's Edge, she can be reached at http://www.unemploymentblues.com

---

The Top 10 Mistakes Job Seekers Should Avoid In Contacting An Employer

There are numerous tools and resources available to guide job seekers through the steps of a career transition. These tools are very useful and suggest much that... Read More

Surviving The Technical Interview

Ah, the technical interview. Nothing like it. Not only does it cause anxiety, but it causes anxiety for several different reasons.How many people will be asking questions?... Read More

Job Search 101

The whole job search effort is completely exhausting and at times just plain pathetic. It is what it is and if you are unemployed know that the... Read More

Resume Tips To Take You From SAHM to WAHM

When looking for a telecommuting position, it is very important to have your resume in tip-top shape. This is often the only thing that a potential employer... Read More

What Is Your Greatest Weakness?

The fastest way to make a good interview go bad is to avoid questions posed by the hiring manager. The one question candidates love to avoid is,... Read More

Taking Job Loss Seriously

Anyone reading this article and hassuffered a job loss recently IStaking the job loss seriously. Thestages often are: 1. A sense of relief, sometimeseuphoria if the job... Read More

Tips on How to Write High Impact Letters of Recommendation

Congratulations. You've been asked to write a letter of recommendation for an employee or colleague. This person values your opinion of him or her, and you'd be... Read More

Work In Dubai

Dubai is home to an exciting, diverse, multi-cultural blend of young, dynamic and professional people all enjoying the unrivalled quality of life the Emirate has to offer.... Read More

How to Know if You Are in the Right Career

Ever wonder if you are in the right career? If you are like most people you have. Did you know that 80% of people are currently misemployed?... Read More

Finding Employees For Insurance Industry Jobs

Finding the right employee for any job opening can be a challenge to say the least, and this is no truer than in the insurance industry. With... Read More

The Top Ten Ways to Jump Start Your Career

1. Do What You Love.Have you ever noticed we usually love to do the things we're best at? So what's your strength? Discover your passion and excel... Read More

It May Be Time to Walk in an Employers Shoes

If you are in a job search and aren't receiving viable hits, it's time to walk a mile in an employer's shoes. Okay, I realize what you... Read More

Searching for an IT Job

Looking for an IT job is one of the easiest to perform due to the incredibly high demand in the IT field. As the Internet grows, corporations... Read More

5 Resume Mistakes Telecommuters Often Make

Finding a legit telecommute job can be difficult. Telecommute jobs are in high demand and hundreds if not thousands of other people are competing for the same... Read More

How To Write A Resume, Avoid These Resume Mistakes

HOW TO WRITE A RESUME-MISTAKE #1NEVER USE THE WRONG PAPER! What kind of paper should you choose when typing your resume? The color of paper you will... Read More

Yes, Ive Had Gaps In My Employment History--What To Do About It?

Yes, I've Had Gaps In My Employment History--What Can I Do About It?1. Honestly, there is not a single person who has not had SOME gaps in... Read More

Don?t Discount the Temporary Position Interview

If you think, 'it's just an interview for a temp job -- no big deal,' that's where you're mistaken. Some wonderful opportunities, networking connections and careers have... Read More

One Step at a Time in the Job Search

What is the first step to take in a job search?Let's start with "Who Am I?" If the job seeker can answer that question easily, then the... Read More

Job Hunting Tips: Containing Anxiety

It hangs from the ceiling above your bed while you toss through the night hours. It waits inside the door of every employment office you enter. It... Read More

Choose Your References Wisely!

So, you need to submit employment references. A simple task, right? Sure, you could contact three of your closest friends and ask them to be your references.... Read More

Career Strategy When Your Boss is a Bully

Q. Right after I accepted my new position, the manager who hired me quit. I now have a boss "Sam" who's a classic bully. He has most... Read More

Learning a Foreign Language

Many people love learning languages or would like to learn a language and use their language skills in a job. In today's global economy the demand for... Read More

The Executive Resume - Moving Beyond Accomplishments

There is a major difference between conventional resumes and executive resumes. Accomplishments are usually the center point of a conventional resume (i.e., indicating how much money was... Read More

Resume Success Factors--What Exactly Is A Resume Anyway?

You know you're good...real good. The problem, though, is that you are struggling to demonstrate just how good you are on paper.Ah...the resume. If you've ever written... Read More

The Organized Job Search

Many people, under financial or other pressures to find work quickly, feel they can't afford to take the time to get organized. On the other hand, conducting... Read More

Hiring the Perfect Fit Through ELance.com

Outsourcing has moved upward in the most-improved columns of efficiency and respectability through eLance.com. This website offers time-saving access to high-quality expertise that enables you to offload... Read More