5 Keys to Powerful Communication

As a coach that specializes in marriage, couples and family coaching, it is critical to develop strong and clear keys for communication. How many times have you been faced with a difficult feeling or occurrence that you are reluctant to discuss with your partner? You probably thought, "If I just don't say anything, I can get past it"?

The problem is most of us can't get past it. It simmers and swells until we near our boiling point. Finally, we explode. The problem has magnified itself beyond rational conversation. From this miscommunication comes a personal, relational and emotional mess.

I have developed, tested and proven 5 very critical keys to effective and powerful communication. First, you and your partner must give each other permission to discuss your feelings and issues that arise between yourselves. This is very difficult for most people. Why? It requires respect for yourself and your partner. You must have a non-defensive and non-judgmental environment, free from hidden agendas and defenses. Forming this connection will help you to see the others perspective and create a constructive environment.

After we have created this new and trusting environment, the next four keys will challenge and guide you to process information using a new method of constructive communication. Create a new standard and process for yourself (LTRR). What is LTRR?

LTRR, the code to creating and shifting perspective:

Listen- We hear but we are not listening. When we disagree with someone or something, we tend to begin to formulate our reactive response long before the speaking has ended. Take time to listen to all of the information or view.

Think- Process the information you received; all of it. Try to appreciate their perspective. What are the strengths and weaknesses of this perspective? Is it morally acceptable to me? How does this fit or clash with my perspective.

Reframe- Ask yourself questions to help you get clear on a new or different perspective. A question such as; what is your perspective on this that is giving you trouble? What perspective could I take from this that would lead to a more empowered position?

Respond- Finally it's time to respond. Notice that it doesn't say react. Respond implies thought and reasoning. Organize your thoughts and your perspective. Share it with others.

Try it. It will be difficult at first and you'll be dying to react, but don't. Personally, I utilize a 7 second rule. I don't respond to new ideas and perspectives until 7 seconds after the person has finished speaking. At first, I had to consciously remind myself; listen, think, reframe, and respond. Now, it just happens. It will just happen for you too.

Communication is a learned skill that requires continuous development and practice. The more we apply these tools, the better we become at utilizing these skills. Just simply giving each other permission to have hurt feelings, ask for specific outcomes and communicate our needs can produce amazing results.

Anthony Mullins is the President and Life Coach for The Elite Coaching Alliance. He specializes in marriage, relationship and family,christian based coaching. He is the author of the upcoming book "Your Extreme Life Makeover". He can be reached by e-mail: anthony@elitecoachingalliance.com or by phone at 770.587.3545. Visitour new websitehttp://www.elitecoachingalliance.com

---

Beware of Psychic Vampires

I am often asked how I stay happy and motivated all the time. The answer has two parts to it; positivity and self-talk.Many years ago I had... Read More

Kabbalah Coach: Love the One Youre With

IntroductionEvery one of us came to the planet to figure out how to experience love in the human form. It is amusing to observe all the ways... Read More

Do You Trust Your Mentor(s)?

It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust." - Samuel JohnsonI was on a tele-seminar... Read More

Going On a Mental Diet

Diets are always in style. Every time you turn around, someone is coming out with a new and improved diet. The latest craves are the Atkins Diet,... Read More

Making Changes in Your Personal Life

Making changes in your personal life can be a tough process. Change starts with a thought. It cannot begin without one. However, what we think and dream... Read More

Identify Your Two Rich Horses

The naked truth of person is that we are still slaves to our mind; means we are still a "bounded slaves" to our mind. The use of... Read More

The Harvest: Shared Power

The fall harvest comes upon us once a year. The farmers collect the sometimes-scant rewards of their heroic efforts begun months before. For those of us who... Read More

Nourishing Your Network

It takes less effort to keep an existing customer than to gain a new customer.This is Business 101. Corporations focus on acquisition, but they must also focus... Read More

Searching For Your Calling ? Quest or Curse?

Judging by the extraordinarily positive reader response to Po Bronson's What Should I Do With My Life?, people are aching for a sympathetic outlook on their stories... Read More

Four Common Rapport Building Mistakes and How to Fix Them

1. Pretending You Are Interested When You Are NotDo yourself a favor and be honest with yourself and the people you spend time with. If you are... Read More

The $10,000,000.00 Question

When I asked my client, Amanda, what she would do if she won a $10,000,000.00 lottery prize, she quickly answered " I would move to Hawaii and... Read More

The Value of Coaching to Support Your Business and Your Life

In our daily lives as well as in our businesses, we typically operate from the perspective of doing the best we know how to do in dealing... Read More

6 Practices for Achieving Excellent Self-Care

Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) often feel like they are running behind schedule, and just don't have the time get everything done. As a result, many... Read More

Life Coach, Counsellor, or Therapist; - How do I choose?

Life coaching has become fashionable in recent years and there seems to be a big demand for what they offer. Counselling and many forms of therapy are... Read More

Coaching: The Art of Putting Yourself In Somone Elses Shoes

COACHING STEPS: The following are five (5) steps a coach can take to change behavior and performance. The goal of this process is to create the context... Read More

The Power of Online Memberships

Have you ever noticed geese flying overhead, whether that be south for the winter, or back home in the spring? In Canada where I live, this... Read More

Happiness and Work: Your Life Depends On It.

Early one morning, Robert awoke, made his wife of 41 years some banana bread, took out the garbage and called to cancel a doctors appointment scheduled for... Read More

How to Get More Business Without Even Trying

Why are you in business? Hopefully you enjoy what you do, however is it because you want to make money so that you can have, be and... Read More

Secrets of Creating Interpersonal Power

If you work with people, as a company owner, manager and team leader or on the customer interface, your impact on others is your most important asset!... Read More

Life On The Receiving End Of Coaching

What is it like to be on the receiving end of mentoring to improve your performance in pocket billiards and at the same time, participate in life... Read More

4 Ways To Avoid Looking Stupid When Making Small Talk

The fear of saying something silly and feeling embarrassed stops many of us from contributing more to discussions at work and when we are relaxing with friends.And... Read More

The Power of Visualization

Professional athletes and other highly successful people use the power of visualization technique on a regular basis. Why? Results of a 20-year study of the effects of... Read More

Still Wondering About Coaching?

A friend called me the other day from Lower Alabama. He has followed my career as a coach with enthusiasm, and continually refers clients to me, and... Read More

12 Reasons to Develop Exceptional People Skills

Why should you bother to spend your valuable time learning how to develop exceptional people skills?Here's why...Look at the people who seem to have it all -... Read More

Fear of Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is one of the most wonderful experiences we ever have. Nothing else really comes close to the experience of sharing our deepest thoughts and feelings... Read More

Take Responsibility for Reshaping Your Life

We say we want to eat better, feel better, and look better. But in order to make our goals materialize, we have to take responsibility for what... Read More