Child Support: 5 Key Things Every Parent Should Know

There is no magic solution to getting issues surrounding child support resolved. Most parents know that when dealing with the bureaucracy tied to the child support system persistence, persistence, persistence is the key that opens the door. In fact, it is the only thing that will open any door when it comes to getting a resolution to a problem. You cannot count on pencil pushers, or all too patient white collar "Friend of the Court" workers to help. They are overworked, underpaid, wrapped in a sea of paperwork, antiquated computer programs, and red tape that barely allows them to move from point "A" to point "B". So what's a parent to do?

1. If your relationship even remotely appears to be on the rocks and children are involved start collecting information on your partner. This is advice for both men and women. Don't fool yourself gentlemen; you too can become a custodial parent seeking child support from your partner. It may not be the norm, but it is a reality. Don't sneak around, and don't feel as though you are going behind someone's back. You have to do what is in the best interest of your children and yourself. Begin collecting bank account numbers, list of licenses, locations of stock/bond papers, money markets and past work/address history. Gather as much as you can.

2. Keep impeccable records. Write the names, addresses, phone and fax numbers to everyone you talk to concerning your child support case. You must hold people accountable and this is one way to do it. Don't ever be afraid to ask a judge or referee, attorney or the child support worker of your case who they report to at the end of the day. This will send a clear message that they will be held accountable for every word that comes out of their mouth so it better be in your best interest.

3. Parents who were married at the time of conception may not have an issue filing for a child support order and often times your divorce attorney will cover this matter in your initial interview. However if the parents are not married, establishing paternity is essential if you expect to receive child support. Paternity means fatherhood. Establishing paternity provides the child/children with a legal father.

4. Child support equals survival. Break-ups are never easy for the parents or the children. It often means that the emotional and financial standard of living for all parties will suffer. Parents must understand that child support is paid for the well being of the child and the parent caring for that child. Money is a powerful tool in this society and can be used as a weapon when it comes to child support. The duty to pay child support and the right to visit are two different issues. They are not connected in the law. In the eyes of the court the child is entitled to contact with both parents. If non-support is an issue, begin documenting the visitation and during your next visit with the judge or referee assigned to your case mention the fact that support has stopped. If you don't have an upcoming court visit, write the judge or referee assigned to your case. You can also inform your child support worker if you have one assigned, but write the judge and request a hearing to address the matter immediately.

5. There is power in the pen, or in the keyboard, depending on how you choose to communicate with the people associated with your child support case. Always, always leave a paper trail. If you send a letter, ask the postal worker to give you a confirmation, it will at least let you know when the letter has arrived. Calling child support workers or trying to get in touch with "Friend of the Court" staff is as impossible as willing the "mega millions lottery." Parent must continue to write or, drop off letters to their workers/judges, and get the name of the person you leave the letter with, along with a phone number, This is great advice for any situation, if you think someone is giving you a bogus phone number, use your cell phone or a pay phone and call the number before you leave the location. If the number is not valid go back, ask to speak to a supervisor and let them know; and take the information to court with you so it can become part of the court record. If you truly have a problem getting child support issues addressed, write your legislators and your governor, weekly if needed. The squeaky wheel get the oil, and nothing ventured, nothing gained.

About The Author

Detra D. Davis is a Consultant, and technical writer with over 20 years of experience. She writes technical and operational manuals, and works as Parent Educator teaching workshops on the importance of establishing paternity and paying child support. Detra may be reached at 313-446-0896, at www.supportingourchildren.com or by mail at J. Davis & Associates Publishing, P. O. Box 44782, Detroit, MI 48244-0782, Attention: Detra D. Davis.

---

Four Tips to Save You Money in a Divorce Case

1. Have an Clear Written Fee AgreementMost experienced and effective divorce attorneys charge by the hour and require an advance retainer (or deposit) that is paid at... Read More

Coping With Divorce Anger

Successfully releasing your anger will help you begin healing after your divorce. Right now you may feel a great deal of rage at your ex-husband. You might... Read More

Marriage Seperation - A Practical Guide

Finance in marriage seperation is a very big issue particularly with regards to the mortgage and household bills. When marriage seperation is inevitable obviously both parties need... Read More

How To Identify What The Question Should I Get a Divorce? Means To You

Deciding about whether you should get a divorce or not is an agonizing experience to go through. If you are asking yourself "should I get a divorce?",... Read More

Surviving Divorce: What To Think About To Ensure Surviving Divorce

Surviving divorce can be a valid fear if you're contemplating getting a divorce. In order to ensure surviving divorce, you should first understand that your divorce decision... Read More

Spousal Emotional Abuse During Divorce--What You Can Do

Is your spouse violent, abusive, harassing? In cases of harassment or violence there are legal remedies and there are practical things you can and must do for... Read More

Deciding on Divorce: How to Know You are Making the Right Choice

It's a well known fact that in this day and age most marriages end up in divorce. When confronted with the possibility of "throwing a relationship away",... Read More

Reasons You Arent Starting the Decision Making Process About Whether To Get a Divorce Or...

Stay MarriedAlong with any tough decision comes reluctance, especially when that decision involves an actual process and might potentially involve emotional pain or anguish. Deciding whether or... Read More

Divorce Online Sevice - Why Should We Lose Money And Time Applying For Divorce?

Attempts to use the worldwide Web as an effective means of struggle against bureaucracy are undertaken constantly and sometimes successfully. Today it is possible to fill in... Read More

Divorce Roadmap: The Route Around the Legal System

Let's look at how a divorce case works so you can see what you face and how you can beat the legal system. The legal divorce process... Read More

Grieving the End of Your Marriage, as You Know it

The pain of finding out that your partner is cheating on you can be the worst pain you'll feel in your entire life. What is happening to... Read More

Effects of Divorce on Children

When a couple decides their marriage is over, a tremendous sense of grief and relief are felt. A recently divorced person will feel grief over the loss... Read More

Commitment

Being marriage means being fully committed to your husband as to the Lord. Look at Ephesians 5:22 it says Wives, submit to your husbands as to the... Read More

Reasons For Divorce; What Constitutes Viable Reasons For Thinking About Or Wanting A Divorce?

According to the Center for Disease Control's National Vital Statistics Report of 2002, 50% of first marriages ended in divorce and 60% of remarriages end in divorce.... Read More

Divorce: Secrets To Coping With A Divorce Announcement

During a wedding ceremony, when people are joined together in matrimony, they swear and vow to honor and respect each other and to remain partners both during... Read More

Hidden Divorce Costs

Divorce has become part of life in the 21st century. The stigma of being divorced that once existed no loger exists. This does not mean that divorce... Read More

What Are You Waiting For?

So, you've decided that you're no longer "a couple", but for whatever reason, you and your spouse have decided to stay together "for the sake of the... Read More

Divorce and Separation - A Child?s Perspective

It is always the children that suffer the most when a marriage breaks down and separation or divorce is imminent. Children of divorcing parents often witness arguments... Read More

Post-Divorce Alimony in Texas

This article provides a brief overview on Texas law concerning post-divorce alimony in Texas. Laws differ from state to state and individual circumstances vary, so you should... Read More

5 Things To Do Before You Even Think About Getting A Divorce

There are many steps to take to protect yourself in a divorce. This article will get you started. Your best bet is to talk to a lawyer... Read More

Extramarital Affair: Should You Get A Divorce Just Because One Of You Had An Extramarital Affair?

Having to deal with an extramarital affair can be a life-changing event, regardless of whether you stay married or not. Inescapable feelings can come over both people... Read More

Divorce and Uncle Sam: Top 10 Things You Should Know When Filing Your Taxes

1. What is my filing status? (Married, Single, Head of Household) Marital standing at year end determines your filing status for the entire year. If you have... Read More

Alienation of Affection - Interference with marriage can cost big bucks in North Carolina

Non-lawyers are often surprised to learn that a spouse can sue for money damages in North Carolina based on allegations of emotional harm caused by a third... Read More

Two Hearts Are Now One

It is fitting that I should write this story on Valentines Day, for this is a story of two broken hearts; healed and mended, then melted together... Read More

Divorce Advice: Getting Divorce Advice From the Right Source

Getting the right type of divorce advice depends on what type of divorce advice you want and what you want to use it for. When looking for... Read More

Divorce -Is It Lawful?

The question of divorce and its lawfulness is of long standing. The law-makers of our day have tried to answer the question. In many countries of the... Read More