Goal Setting and Goal Getting: Go Use This Stuff!

Q. I have always had such trouble with doing this goals thing. I don't know where to start or what to do. I can't seem to get going. I end up floundering, getting discouraged and giving up. Can you help me figure this thing out?

A. There are lots of things wrong with goals. One is growing up believing we set them only once a year - the dreaded New Year's resolutions. Another is believing goals are something you achieve and then walk away.

There are many things that get in the way of achieving our goals.

We have the false notion that goals are to be set only at the beginning of the year. Most New Year's resolutions are broken and forgotten before the end of January, so it's no wonder we get discouraged.

Goals can and should be set any time we choose to do so. Many people look at spring as a time of new beginnings, a time to make a fresh start. We can make a fresh start at any time. For me the fall has always been a time of fresh starts and new goals. It's when a break in the oppressive heat begins, and with it comes more energy for life. I often ask myself, "If I start now, what can be accomplished by the holidays?" This is sort of like giving yourself a special gift for the holidays.

Often, we try to accomplish too many goals at once. It's the old biting off more than we can chew syndrome. We get motivated and excited, set a whole bunch of goals, then get scattered, overwhelmed, distracted and discouraged. When you're just starting out trying to achieve goals, it's best to work on only one at a time. After you get a little experience under you belt, and have strengthened your goal-achieving muscles, you can work on multiple goals at the same time.

Often the most difficult part in achieving goals is simply getting started. The best quick-start advice I can give is once you have set a goal, make sure you do something toward achieving it before your head hits the pillow that night. Never let the day end without taking at least one small step toward your goal. In this way, you break out of the inactive place most people get stuck in, and you begin to build momentum right away. Then the next steps begin to appear more doable.

Once you get started, it's important to have a clear idea of how to get from here to there. Without a clear and specific direction, it's easy to get lost along the way. Most goals require a series of steps, or mini-goals. By writing them down, you are creating a map. It should look like this: I'm here, I want to be there, the steps are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, etc.

If you don't get anything else from these ideas, get this: Goals are not something you work on and accomplish, only to quit doing all the things that got you where you want to be. Goals are what you pass through on your way to making your life better.

Many times we have an idea of what to do, or even know exactly what to do, we just don't do it. Here's a story that illustrates this point.

A wealthy man was nearing his retirement and looking forward to traveling, playing golf and spending time with his grandchildren. His only problem was that he did not have any grandchildren. He invited his four grown and married children to dinner and announced before eating, "As you know, I'll be retiring very soon. I've set some goals for myself: traveling, playing golf and spending lots of time with my grandchildren. The only problem, as you know, is that I have no grandchildren. So, I have established a $1million trust fund that I will give to the couple who gives me my first grandchild. Now, let's bow our heads and bless our food."

When the man looked up from the blessing, the room was empty.

The point is, there is the gathering of information, and then there is using the information.

Go use this stuff.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

---

Writing Goals Down Ties Them Up!

Writing goals describes the act of inscribing on a surface characters or shapes that convey thoughts and ideas in relation to that goal. Why is this mechanical... Read More

Goals: What Would You Like to Accomplish in the Next 90 Days?

"What would you like to accomplish in the next 90 days?"That's the question I often ask of my coaching clients or seminar members as we begin to... Read More

Sabbatical from Work? Start Here!

Many people envy academics who take sabbaticals. What they don't realize is that sabbaticals are not designed as time on the beach. You are supposed to use... Read More

What Words Will They Chisel Into Your Tombstone?

One day you will inevitably die. A morbid statement, I know, but one that is true. I don't want to upset you so let me say this... Read More

You Are What You Do!

Too often, people say one thing and do another. I admit that I have often slid into this rut and thought about how I need to do... Read More

Success Is Knowing What You Want

Many people ask me how they can be more successful.The first question I ask is, "What do you want?"Usually the answer is vague. I want to make... Read More

Stop Setting Goals; Make Decisions Instead

Every private client I work with begins at the same place. They first paint a clear picture of their goals, from the future back to today.Then they... Read More

Goal Setting ? The Importance of Stern Resolve!

"Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page...on the first of January let every may straighten himself once... Read More

Habits What I Want For You

Think for a moment about your Self. Is there something that you would like to have, somewhere you would like to go, or something you would like... Read More

Make 2005 Your Best Year Ever - Its Not Too Late!

We are moving rapidly through 2005, and you'll find previously intelligent and reasonable people struggling with trying to keep a 'resolution' that they made earlier in the... Read More

The Top 10 Secrets to Achieving Any Goal

We all have goals that are important to us. They range from quitting smoking, to creating our own businesses, to raising great kids. Unfortunately, most of us... Read More

Six Keys To Build Vision - Point Two

2. Recognize the source and purpose of vision· It's purpose is to be shared with all those around usLiving life based purely on our own personal needs... Read More

The Great American Dream Challenge: Faith Restored

Years ago, people came to America in pursuit of their dreams and still do to seek a better life. Work hard, stay focused and you can achieve... Read More

Get More Done!

Have you ever heard the old saying If you want something done, ask a busy person? Ever wondered why?Ever felt stressed out because you never seem to... Read More

Top Ten Ways to Achieve Your Goals

1) Write them down! Statistics show people who write down their goals have over an 80% higher success rate of achieving them. Start a Goals journal. Make... Read More

Lessons From the Creek

Everything is in flow here in Northern Michigan. Buckets of water have flowed off the snow-covered roof. That water, along with the melting snow banks is finding... Read More

Goal Setting Skills Ensure Success

SO WHAT DOES GOAL SETTING OFFER? It closes the manager-employee gap. Often there are misunderstandings, miscommunication, or even no communication at all between upper management and lower... Read More

Making the Most of Your Year

Do you find yourself amazed at how quickly the months pass? Do you find yourself in a small panic over all you know you have to do... Read More

The Influence of People Who Surround You

It is known that the human body sends out vibrations: some are positive, while others are negative. We have orbits formed by people who surround us and... Read More

Reaching Your Goals: A Ridiculous Way to Succeed

If you've ever had any sales training, you've probably been taught the technique called "Reduction to the Ridiculous." This is the technique of breaking a price down... Read More

Combining the Mind and Effective Goal-Setting

Goals are of vital importance in our lives. Many of us spend our lives without any definite purpose, simply drifting from place to place. Setting goals help... Read More

Left Your Job ?On A Matter of Principle?! Now what?

Let's get started with the emotional part!1. Take time out. Take some time and relax. You have been through a traumatic experience. Don't worry about anything at... Read More

Got Purpose?

Is your life on purpose? Does just the question stop you in your tracks? Have you been so caught up in the pace of our world that... Read More

Achieving Success Through Effective Goal Setting

It is important to have goals because they are good for your physical and mental health. You can have goals for all areas of your life. Here... Read More

The Importance Of Having A Goal In Life

At the age of twenty two, I read a book that described the importance of having a goal in life. In the books example, a survey had... Read More

Ask yourself, So what?

Neil Armstrong made his first moon walk on July 20, 1969, two months before I entered college. I remember that many Americans were euphoric about this accomplishment.... Read More