A Bad Hairdresser Day

"Hey everybody!" Hairdresser Lady called out. "It's The Happy Guy."

"Don't try buttering me up, Hairdresser Lady," I warned. "It's not going to work."

"What's not going to work?" she demanded.

"You can't cover up your gross incompetence with a 'Hey everybody' cheer."

"Gross incompetence?"

"That's right. Just look at my head. Go ahead, take a real close look."

"Why, it's a family of sparrows. What a lovely nest," she grinned.

"No, over here."

"My, my. If it isn't a bald spot," she giggled. "Should I give it a shine?"

"That's just what I mean, Hairdresser Lady. Ever since I've been coming to you this past couple years, I've been losing hair. What have you been doing to it?"

"Er, nothing. Just a little growth formula."

"Growth?!? My hair isn't growing. It's falling out."

"The growth formula is not for your hair, silly. It's for your scalp," Hairdresser Lady responded.

"Growth formula for my scalp?"

"To make you look taller," Hairdresser Lady explained. "You do look kind of short, you know."

"How will growth formula on my scalp make me look taller?"

"Just look in the mirror. Already your head is starting to stick up out of your hair," Hairdresser Lady pointed out. "You look taller already."

She was right. I did look taller. "That stuff really works?"

"It works wonders on my petunias," Hairdresser Lady asserted.

Saaaaay, wait a minute. That's not a growing scalp. That's a receding hairline! "I don't believe it. You are NOT putting growth formula on my scalp. I am just losing my hair."

By this time, Hairdresser Lady was rolling on the floor with laughter. And I still had no idea what she was doing to make my hair fall out.

"I'll bet this is a secret trick to reduce your workload. The more hair falls out, the less you have to cut."

"Less hair to cut, but more face to wash," she chirped as she dunked my head under water. Deep under water. "Actually, you don't look too bad. Your hair is just getting thin here and there, and you have a lot more vacant real estate above your eyes. But most of your hair is clinging on...for now."

It was that last "for now" that sent shivers down my spine. Already I could see how much hair I had lost since she became my hairdresser. What diabolical anti-hair plot could she be preparing to unleash upon my head? I feared all my questions would soon be answered when she brought a new tray to the counter in front of me.

"What's all that stuff? I demanded.

"These are your new hairdressing supplies: tar, a very large black brush, and a cheese grater," she smiled as she opened the tar lid.

"What's in that?" I was panicking.

"Don't worry," Hairdresser Lady whispered. "Nobody will know that it's not really...hair."

I lunged toward the exit. As the door swung closed behind me, I heard her call out, "Don't you even want to know what the cheese grater is for?"

Looking back, the whole situation seems ludicrous. My hair was not falling out because of Hairdresser Lady. It was falling out because of middle age. After all, they didn't have hairdressers in the Middle Ages.

Yesterday, my wife asked me when I last got my hair cut. I told her it had been a while. "Why do you ask?"

"Because," she puzzled. "Your hair seems to be growing quite long."

I think I shocked her when I began jumping up and down, shouting, "Yes. It works. Yes. Yes. Yes. No more hairdressers! No miracle petunias! No growing scalps!"

Still, every now and then, I wonder -- just what was the cheese grater for.

About The Author

The author is David Leonhardt. Sign up for his weekly satire column up at http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html or read more columns at http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/self-actualization-articles.html. Or join in the happiness at http://www.thehappyguy.com.

info@thehappyguy.com

---

The Underestimated Power of Kindness

It was a bright Saturday morning in the late fall. I had stopped at a cafe' to enjoy a cup of coffee and scan the morning newspaper.... Read More

Health, Wealth, and Love

What is happiness? The dictionary defines it as "a state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy."Like many dictionary definitions, this may be... Read More

Where do we Find True and Lasting Happiness?

For the longest time I was convinced that I was not happy unless I had a partner to share my life with. I just knew that having... Read More

Reframing with NLP For Enhanced Happiness

I used to work for the Independent National Newspaper in Canary Wharf, London. I can remember in the build up to Christmas, my department was having a... Read More

Have Fun, Make Friends, Be Happy

I always marvel at the way people shine when they break through a roadblock in their lives. It's brilliant and it's also incredibly attracting. There's a sense... Read More

How To Dance With Life

Fortunate, indeed, is the man who takes exactly the right measure of himself,and holds a just balance between what he can acquire and what he can use.~Peter... Read More

Healthy, Wealthy and Happy in 2005

Life is simple. You'd be surprised to know that most of the cherished things in life are almost at arm length and not too expensive either. Yet... Read More

Design Psychology: How Our Sensory Responses to Aromas Create Happy Homes

Our sense of smell elicits strong emotional reactions and triggers powerful memories, whether we're consciously aware of it or not.Scents and FeelingsOur olfactory system sends a chemical... Read More

Happiness Is Truly M.A.G.I.C.A.L. (TM)

The year is almost half over. Many of us are taking the time to reflect, to imagine new dreams and to revise our goals. Yet, as we... Read More

Simple Pleasures: Ingredients to Feed Your Spirit.

"When we do something we love, again and again, our life comes to hold the fragrance of that thing. ~ Wayne MullenCold air slips through the cracks... Read More

10 Fun Ways To Live An Enchanted Life Today!

I am often asked how I can live the way I do. Who pays me to be a real-life Merlin? It's not as if you can open... Read More

Chasing The Whats Next

Are you an adrenaline junkie who is looking for balance? I call people who achieve success, but yet also have a balance in life - Activators.However, a... Read More

Does Money Buy Happiness?

According to researchers like Martin Seligman, Daniel Kahneman and Ed Deiner, money may be able to buy happiness, but only to a very limited extent. On the... Read More

Today It Is ... Tomorrow It Will Be ...

What is your life like today? What do you want it to be like tomorrow? Today it is a good life for my wife and I. We... Read More

Stop Sickies and Make People Happy At Work

If you're an employer or a manager then work place absence is costing you money, inconvenience, and upsetting your customers. And as we all know, not all... Read More

Top 25 Happiness Quotations

"There are hundreds of languages in the world, but a smile speaks them all."--Anonymous"Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response." -- Mildred Barthel"Happiness is good... Read More

5 Keys to Understanding Why Your Life (probably) Sucks! #3

The outcome of Reason # 2 is that you become your own worst enemy. That, in turn, leads on to Reason # 3 whereYou place more value... Read More

Love and Laughter ? Celebrating the Gift of Life

Only you can call me into aliveness. Each time you try to understand and because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, very small... Read More

The Science of Laughter

The title I chose for this article makes me smile. The science of laughter? Laughter, one of the things we used to take for granted, is now... Read More

How To Experience A Richer, Deeper, And Fuller Life

When we choose to move beyond the boundaries of the ego, we choose to step into a different world. We find ourselves above the matrix of conceived... Read More

Three Inspirations for Happiness

The following three inspirations were adapted from A Daily Dose of Happiness, and they represent three key ways to increase our happiness.1. FORGIVING FOR HAPPINESSWe like to... Read More

Inevitable Changes and Changeless Connections

Sometimes change is pleasant. A child is born. A new career begins. A goal is accomplished. At other times, a difficult transition brings tough but necessary growing... Read More

Can You Really Let Go Of Your Huge Internal Struggle?

When I was in graduate school for psychology, we had a fellow student by the name of Allan who was running a successful clinical practice and had... Read More

About Happiness and Fulfillment

During a FULFILLMENT seminar, at the University of Arizona for the Affiliated Women's Clubs, a charming and successful woman unintentionally made our point about success, satisfaction and... Read More

Seven Steps to a Better Day

Are you tired of the same routine day after day? Do you feel as if today is only a speed bump in the road between yesterday and... Read More

Our Feelings and Attitudes Around Happily Ever After

Our feelings and attitudes have a huge impact on our ability to achieve 'happily ever after.' Are feelings and attitudes the same thing or different? Does one... Read More