But I Bought All The Books And Tapes, And Im Still Unhappy!

I love this quote by Zig Ziglar, and think it's a perfect introduction to this article:

"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing- that's why we recommend it daily."

The same thing can be said for all the different techniques that lead to happiness.

Often you will hear people say,

- "I tried affirmations, and they didn't work."

- "I tried NLP, and it didn't work."

- "I tried subliminal programming, and it didn't work."

- "I tried (insert any other technique), and it didn't work."

Well, the reason is NOT that the techniques are faulty. Every technique has had some success. And every technique has had some failures. There is no holy grail, magical technique, guaranteed to work for everyone. Why is this?

Quite simply, we're all different.

In my search for happiness, I tried many things. Some I can relate to, others I can't. Some I didn't even try. My scepticism ruled out subliminal programming, right from the start. That doesn't mean it won't work for others who are open to trying it. In fact, some people swear by it.

So don't be stressed if you try something and it's not a good "fit". Accept we're all different, take the positives out of the experience, and move on and try something else.

Here are a few pointers though in how to find "what works" for you:

(1) Firstly, understand that these techniques are not a direct cause of happiness. If they were, then everyone who used them would achieve happiness. These techniques are an indirect cause of happiness, with another step in the middle.

There is one, and only one, direct cause of happiness. And that is for you to change your thought process.

Happiness comes from positive thoughts. EVERYONE who focuses on the positive side of their life, with gratitude for what they have now, IS HAPPY!

And everyone who focuses on the negatives, and worries about their future, or lives regretting their past, IS UNHAPPY.

It's as simple as that.

So what we're looking for is a technique (or bunch of techniques) that simply help us focus on the positives in our life, right here and right now. If you try something and it doesn't effectively focus your thoughts on the positives, don't worry about it. Find something else that does.

(2) Make sure you use the technique properly. Some like meditation take many years to completely master (of course there are great benefits along the way). Others are quite simple. Whatever technique you try, research it completely, and consider seeking a teacher, coach or mentor.

(3) As Zig Ziglar said, use the process continually. You are aiming to replace any negative thoughts with positives. Doing it once doesn't guarantee positive thoughts forever, for the rest of your life. You need to make this a continual process.

However like riding a bike, or driving a car, with practice it will become automatic. Your subconscious will take over much of the process, and you will be well on your way to the lifetime of happiness that you so richly deserve.

(4) Don't put all your eggs in one basket. What works one time may not be the best answer next time. My favourite restaurant at the moment is called Base Camp. It's a Nepalese Restaurant just down the road from us here in Melbourne. But that doesn't mean I always eat there when I go out for dinner. Sometimes we eat Italian. Sometimes we might feel like Thai.

As I said earlier, I tried many things in my search for happiness. Some worked for me and some didn't. I found my answer in a combination of many techniques. I personally love affirmations. But at other times I get more value out of EFT. I have a morning routine of manifesting visualisation and meditation. I have an evening (before bed) routine based around the expression of gratitude.

Find a whole truckload of ways to make you feel happy. And use them all at the appropriate time.

There is no holy grail, magical technique, guaranteed to work for everyone. So stop looking for it. Try something. Use it properly, and consistently. And if you get great results, keep using it. If you don't get results, move on to something else.

Lance Beggs.

(c) 2005 Lance Beggs - All Rights reserved

How important is HAPPINESS to you? Discover simple & powerful techniques to take control of your life and be happy, NOW & forever! Join our FREE Mini Course & ezine at http://www.HowToBeHappyNow.com


AddThis Social Bookmark Button


Take a chocolate adventure Plow & Hearth
Frederick's of Hollywood, Inc. From You Flowers. LLC
In The News:


Experts say happiness just can't be bought
eTaiwan News, Taiwan - 8 hours ago
Researchers like Diener are trying to convey what philosophers have long written, that true happiness lies only in the pursuit of deeply held goals and ...

New York Times

A Lot of Sunshine, Beauty and Happiness in "Happy-Go-Lucky”
eFluxMedia - 3 hours ago
By Irene Collins "Happy-Go-Lucky," the latest film from five-time Oscar nominee, director Mike Leigh, opened Friday. Sally Hawkins, who plays Poppy, ...
Happiness proves its own reward The Star-Ledger - NJ.com
Pollyanna Poppy Gay City News
Hawkins' bliss is infectious in 'Happy-Go-Lucky' Carroll County Times (subscription)
AZ Central.com - New York Timesall 65 news articles

Zee News

'I wish Pa much health and happiness'
Times of India, India - 19 hours ago
Dad wouldn't want anything else. I wish Pa health and eternal happiness. And if there's anyone who deserves peace and happiness, it's him!"
Here is why the Amitabh-Rekha chemistry entices even today! Zee News
Who’s no 1? AB, Rekha... and Ash! Times of India
all 4 news articles

Release of abducted sailor brings happiness to family
Press Trust of India, India - 11 hours ago
Panaji, Oct 11 (PTI) With the news of Anthony Clive Themudo's release at Navelim village in South Goa, known for its sailor community, Anthony's family ...

Daily Mail

Schools rated on pupils' happiness
Times Online, UK - Oct 10, 2008
The plans are intended to fulfil the legal requirement on all schools to look after pupil wellbeing but say responsibility for the happiness of students ...
Five-year-olds are told they can mark their own school Daily Mail
all 8 news articles

Research shows gratitude a positive force
Toronto Star,  Canada - 17 hours ago
Being grateful can make you happier, healthier and more optimistic, according to Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of the bestseller The How of Happiness: A ...

'Music was a part of my health and happiness'
San Diego Union Tribune, United States - Oct 9, 2008
... that she realized that “music was a part of my health and happiness and sanity.” Her dad FedExed her a keyboard, and she began to focus her energies. ...

KYMA

A Closet Full of Happiness
KYMA, AZ - 23 hours ago
Bringing smiles one toy at a time is the motto for Andrea's Closet, a non profit organization created to help ease the pain and suffering of children in the ...

Time test predicts happiness, health
Calgary Herald,  Canada - Oct 9, 2008
So how does one reset a psychological clock that isn't keeping up with physical health and mental happiness? "You've got to be conscientious of each action ...

Examiner.com

19 ways to happiness, Tip #2
Examiner.com - Oct 10, 2008
Tip number two in our journey to happiness is "Pretend to be Happy". That is kind of the same as smiling when you don't feel like it, but I think it goes a ...
happiness - Google News
Your Ad Here

Games at Buy.com

Holiday Home Store at Buy.com

True Happiness

Most people look outside of themselves as the cause of their unhappiness or frustration. After all, wouldn't life be practically perfect if the significant people in our... Read More

Be Happy, Join The Wednesday Worry Club

Of all the people who know me, no one would say I am afflicted with worryitis. They may say other things about me, which may or may... Read More

Happiness. Its Between Our Ears!

Happiness is something we all seek, yet few of us find-Some search for it an acquiring material possessions-Some search for it in experiencing pleasant sensations-Some search for... Read More

Letting Go of Anger and Awaken to Lifes Grand Aventures

Anger can make us feel good and enlivened for a little while. When we are angry we are often feeling self-righteous, critical, judgemental and we have someone... Read More

Divining Your Life Path Number

The Life Path is determined by the sum that is arrived at after reducing your birth date by adding digits together. This number represents the traits and... Read More

Ten Ways to Eliminate Guilt From Your Life

1. Say "Yes" Only When You Want ToYou want to please everyone, but you end up disappointed in yourself. Don't say "Yes" unless you absolutely want to.... Read More

Get Right! Make a Difference

Want to make a difference? What can one person do? The answer is everything! In its finest sense, the behavior of every one of us is central... Read More

Discover the 10 Golden Rules on How To Conquer Your Fear

We all want happiness and peace of mind. In the search for these blessings, millions of people take "happy pills" which they hope will relieve their tensions... Read More

Joy Is Sexy

Joy is sexy because in embracing our joy, we embrace our positive energy and power. Joy is always there, waiting to be reclaimed. It is the bridge... Read More

Why We Have Problems? A Coach Debates

As a coach, I often ask myself the question why human beings have problems. With the exception of terminal diseases, serious illnesses that are REALLY life-threatening situations... Read More

What Is Happiness?

What is it that everyone is seeking? Happiness with no sorrow. A continuous happiness with no taint whatsoever of sorrow.~Lester LevensonHappiness is our basic nature.We rarely find... Read More

Happiness Is In Our Own Hands

Other people can bring tremendous happiness to our lives but we cannot rely on them alone for happiness. Clinging to people because we think our happiness depends... Read More

Laughter and Your Health

Did you know that according to research, children laugh about 400 times a day while adults only laugh about 15 times a day? Some how we lost... Read More

Love Yourself First ? Im Happy. Youre Happy. Were All Happy!

As a teenager growing up reading 'Blue Jeans' and 'Jackie', it occurred to me that just one piece of advice was the answer to all the problems... Read More

10 Tips for Living the Life of Your Dreams

Why Are You Here?When I ask this question, I'm not inquiring why you are in the location you're in, or why you are in the city you're... Read More

Chasing The Whats Next

Are you an adrenaline junkie who is looking for balance? I call people who achieve success, but yet also have a balance in life - Activators.However, a... Read More

Where do we Find True and Lasting Happiness?

For the longest time I was convinced that I was not happy unless I had a partner to share my life with. I just knew that having... Read More

Love and Laughter ? Celebrating the Gift of Life

Only you can call me into aliveness. Each time you try to understand and because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, very small... Read More

The Capacity for Happiness and Respectability

Humans are liable to experience a variety of afflictions, but they are commonly endowed with a capacity for happiness and respectability. There is no guarantee, however, that... Read More

5 Keys to Understanding Why Your Life (probably) Sucks! #3

The outcome of Reason # 2 is that you become your own worst enemy. That, in turn, leads on to Reason # 3 whereYou place more value... Read More

Eleven Keys to Success and Happiness

1. Mend a quarrel Seek out a forgotten friend and tell them how much you enjoyed them once and that you wish them peace.2. Dismiss Suspicion Take... Read More

How To Live Happily Ever After

In life, many of us simply plunge ahead, only to realize later that some of the things we did, we wish we hadn't, and some of the... Read More

If You Can Dream It you Can Do It!

Confuscious, the Chinese Philospher is quoted as saying : "I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand." In other words,... Read More

The Voiceless

WE count the broken lyres that rest Where the sweet wailing singers slumber, But o'er their silent sister's breast The wild-flowers who will stoop to number? A... Read More

Today It Is ... Tomorrow It Will Be ...

What is your life like today? What do you want it to be like tomorrow? Today it is a good life for my wife and I. We... Read More

How to Be Happy!

How would you like to have at least an extra hour in your day just for yourself so that you can have more fun?Well you can you... Read More