Do You Love Yourelf?

Learning to love yourself isn't easy - especially if you grew up in an environment that involved abuse, neglect, shame or an emotionally dishonest atmosphere. Most people who experience self-love have had it planted as a seed by someone who accepted them unconditionally at a very early phase in their development. But even those fortunate enough to have had this experience, come to find that self-love must continue to evolve as the diversity of life's experiences are faced. For those of us who have not had the seed of self-love planted . . . all is not lost! Self-love is our natural state. We can find our way back to our rightful state of being. Self-love is who and what we are - it is merely hidden by learned patterns of disallowing love. Learning new patterns of allowing love involves an awareness of what self-love is, and then practicing certain skills, self-affirming thoughts, and actions that lead to greater joy.

Self-love is not so much a feeling as it is an absence of self-doubt and self-disapproval. It is a sense of balance and belonging. Respect, responsibility for self, and feeling good are important values. Self-love means that your well-being matters to yourself unconditionally and in practical terms. The following are some characteristics of self-loving people:

Self loving people tend to treat themselves well.

They see fun and enjoyment as a primary goal most of the time.

They do not remain in mistreatment by others.

They are caring towards others. (Because it feels good to do so).

They put themselves first. (Even those they love are a "close second.")

They find a thought that feels good, and practice it.

BASIC PRINCIPLES OF SELF LOVE

Who we are is more important than what we are.

We are valuable. Nothing can change that.

What we want always matters.

USING THE MIRROR
Here are two ways to determine whether you love yourself:

1. Mirror, mirror on the wall ...
The next time you are looking into a mirror, look DEEP into your own eyes.

Notice how you feel in your body as you say "I love you."
Is the statement true - or are you lying to yourself?

Notice what you see:
Self-loving people tend to see themselves as a whole person when they look into a mirror. They LIKE what they see overall, despite their flaws.

Other people tend to see either themselves as "parts" (too wide hips, fat stomach, big nose, pretty hair, etc.). They tend to see aspects of their appearance, which they like or dislike, not the whole of themselves.

2. The Sudden Mirror . . .When you accidentally see your reflection in a storefront window, what is your immediate reaction? If you met this person on the street, would you LIKE them?

SELF LOVE CHECKLIST

____ I do things which nurture, strengthen and comfort my body.

____ I accept my vulnerable feelings like sadness, fear, and mistakes.

____ I'm responsible to bring myself back to a state of feeling good.

____ I look in the mirror and notice my whole being.

____ I comfort myself with positive thoughts.

____ I recognize my achievements.

____ I use healthy activities (exercise, hobbies, friendships) when I need comfort.

____ I share my true feelings with others.

____ I express my anger in healthy ways.

____ I assert my needs and ask for what I want.

____ I recognize and value my need for solitude and alone time.

____ I recognize and value my need for fun and lightheartedness.

____ I am generous with praise towards myself.

____ When I make errors, I am responsible instead of guilty.

____ When I make errors, I forgive myself.

____ I pursue and maintain friendships with others.

QUESTIONS TO GUIDE US BACK INTO SELF-LOVE

Do I use my intuition with myself?

When I feel emotional, do I explore deeper to understand what I would need to feel better?

Do I give myself what I need to feel better?

Am I kind to myself?

What is good in my life?

What in my life do I most enjoy?

What stimulates me?

What's missing in my life - and what can I do about it?

What can I do to add more joy into my life?

Do I follow through doing what I say I am going to do?

What do I think?

What is my preference?

What can I do to feel happier right now?

Copyright 2005, Dr. Annette Colby, all rights reserved.

Dr. Annette Colby, RD
Nutrition Therapist & Master Energy Healer
"Opening Creative Portals to Success"
972.985.8750
Annette@AnnetteColby.com

For free inspirational newsletter, articles & info visit: http://www.LovingMiracles.com

---

Happiness - Work Now or Later?

Long-term success and happiness follows hand-in-hand with strength of character.As I mention in my book, Fast Track Your Success and Happiness, If we want to achieve a... Read More

OBSCURED (Angel)

Being raised in a household without a mother or a father can be traumatic for a young girl. If no one cares enough about you to come... Read More

But I Bought All The Books And Tapes, And Im Still Unhappy!

I love this quote by Zig Ziglar, and think it's a perfect introduction to this article:"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing- that's... Read More

Flowers Truly Reach Your Soul

Flowers are a simple, sincere and unobtrusive way to lift our spirits. They can bring a smile to a tired face or brighten up a room for... Read More

10 Survival Strategies to Overcoming Adversity and Being Happy

If one thing is for certain, each of us will experience some form of adversity while we are still breathing on this Earth. Unfortunately, some of us... Read More

Principles of Human Misery / Happiness

Sometimes we are so occupied with our daily routine in life that we forget that "we" are the most important element of our existence. We need to... Read More

Self-Worthiness

Worthiness-word origin. Worth and worship both come from Old English weorth, worth value. Worship is composed of this word weorth, worth, + ship (a suffix meaning condition,... Read More

Forgive to Succeed - Im Talking to the You Behind Your Eyes

If your blood is still pumping through your veins, you very likely have some forgiving to do. When you truly forgive, you serve yourself much more than... Read More

The Underestimated Power of Kindness

It was a bright Saturday morning in the late fall. I had stopped at a cafe' to enjoy a cup of coffee and scan the morning newspaper.... Read More

Divining Your Karmic Number

Your karmic number interpretation tells you what you need to do in order to correct your actions from previous lives. It can also help provide invaluable instruction... Read More

Guess Who Else Has a Problem With Confidence?

When I tell you what I heard you'll be able to laugh at what you believe is your own lack of confidence.I couldn't believe it. Sunday, in... Read More

Ode to Chocolate

Chocolate delays reality. When I am eating chocolate, everything is on hold: anxiety, panic, frustrations, and insecurity. Chocolate offers a profound richness, a sweetness of life, a... Read More

Keeping You Confident!

We can all be confident when we are sure of ourselves and knowledgeable about the situation in which we find ourselves. But what happens when we are... Read More

A Model of Happiness

Everyone I've ever met considers happiness to be desirable. There is a whole wing of psychology called "positive psychology" studying things like happiness. One of the luminaries... Read More

See for Yourself : 12 Step Tools Can Bring Happy, Joyous and Free into Everyones Life

We are all familiar with or have heard of the many Twelve Step programs and communities. The reason the 12 Steps are so effective in helping people... Read More

Happiness

What is happiness? If we mean by it a state of fulfillment, when everything is going our way, in terms of results as well as efforts (which... Read More

The Secret to Staying Centered and Happy in a Troubled World

Many of us are probably so used to crisis in the world that it has become a natural part of our mental scenery. We've grown accustomed to... Read More

Uncovering Your Joy: Using a Personal Journal to Discover a Life Filled with Happiness

Author Tristine Rainer wrote "Happiness within a diary has less to do with the events you encounter in life than with the way you experience the process... Read More

Your Perfect Partner

A woman we'll call "Jane" thought she was a great "catch" and a "perfect partner" but she wondered why her relationships always seemed to fail.Here's what she... Read More

You...Your Emotions...Your Relations...Your Happiness and Your Life...

We are living in an era, where relations' management is at its low. If the IT or ITES/BPO industry is promoting relations among the employees?the short duration... Read More

Health, Wealth, and Love

What is happiness? The dictionary defines it as "a state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy."Like many dictionary definitions, this may be... Read More

Self Confidence, Happiness, and Posture

Our use of body posture plays a key role in how we feel. When we are feeling "down", our bodies show this by hunching the shoulders, we... Read More

Helping Happiness Along

Happiness is worth helping along.The benefits of being a happy person are huge. We live longer, live healthier, and live more lively lives.Unfortunately, all but the most... Read More

What is the Ultimate Lifestyle?

Since the mission of this newsletter is to help you define, carve out, and live your own Ultimate Lifestyle, I figured I should devote some space to... Read More

The ABCs Of A Great Life: J Is For Joviality

Laughter, humor, a lighthearted sense of being - all of these are an important part of a well-balanced breakfast, er, life. Without humor, there is no hope.... Read More

Happiness Fleeting

"You cannot capture happiness no matter how hard you may chase after it. Happiness is something that follows you." The words of the old sage echoed in... Read More