Used Condom Found In Restaurant Salad Bar; Waiter Embarrassed To Tears

Evidence of after-hours activity turned up at a Big Boy restaurant salad bar in Detroit last week, embarrassing not only the perpetrators, but nearly everyone associated with the company.

Apparently, Mike Finney and Rhonda Carrion were working together to close down the restaurant's soup, salad and dessert bar and, with no one else around, culminated a night of flirting with sexual intercourse right on the bar. Witnesses said they'd been flirting almost the entire shift, and that it was just a matter of time before this happened.

"I speak for the entire company," said Big Boy spokesman, Bob Shue, "when I say that we are completely, totally, and unequivocally embarrassed at this whole situation. I mean, did you see how small that condom was. Nobody could possibly have a penis that small..."

Added Shue, "This really gives Big Boy a bad name."

The condom was found by the morning set up crew who initially mistook the prophylactic for a pencil erasure. The incident was immediately reported to the kitchen supervisor. "I didn't know what the hell it was at first," he said. "I thought it was a chewed-up chicklet."

Due to the incident, two of the original employees on the scene requested the rest of the day off because they are reportedly still on the break room floor, rolling around with uncontrollable laughter.

"I didn't think we served shrimp until Friday," said one doubled-over employee. "The toothpicks are supposed to be at the front door. I just peed my pants..."

Finney was unavailable for comment due to the fact that he was reportedly extremely shaken up, and "crying like a little girl." Adding to his predicament, he faces a mandatory write-up, and the possibility of up to a three-day suspension.

"Rhonda is who I really feel bad for," said Shue, "I offered her paid leave, but she wants to work through this...poor thing."

Carrion did, however, release a brief statement offering an apology to everyone involved, saying that she was "totally embarrassed" and "completely unaware we even had sex."

After over 12 years as a waiter and bartender, Dennis Rymarz walked completely away from the business and launched Don't Tip the Waiter, a one-of-a-kind satirical publication that reports fictional news and events from the restaurant industry.

Initially intended specifically for servers and bartenders, the publication is now read by a rapidly growing audience that includes just about anyone who goes out to eat.

Don't Tip the Waiter is distributed free-of-charge to bars and restaurants in the Detroit area, and can be read on line at http://donttipthewaiter.com


AddThis Social Bookmark Button


In The News:

Kansas City Star
Humor festival draws world's cartoonists
Boston Globe
Mario Barros, a Cuban refugee and organizer of the Boston International Humor Festival, said that more than 1000 works from about 400 cartoonists have been ...
Mass. humor contest draws world's cartoonistsThe Associated Press
Mass. humor contest draws world's cartoonistsDaily Comet

all 135 news articles »

msnbc.com
After rumors, humor: Rhinebeck residents amused at Clinton wedding mania
Poughkeepsie Journal
But as with Traudt, the Clinton wedding is inspiring a sense of humor in some. "Of course," Covel continued, "we're acknowledging it, in that it's happening ...
Chelsea Clinton wedding: Obama not invitedNews Provider
Obama “Wasn't Invited” to Chelsea's WeddingExecte News
Marc Mezvinsky's Main Line 'grooming'Jewish Exponent
Poughkeepsie Journal
all 3,046 news articles »

East Side Residents Move On From Flood, Keep Sense Of Humor
WISN Milwaukee
And they're keeping their sense of humor. "Sinkhole pizza" -- complete with a toy SUV in the center -- was served up at Von Trier, an east side bar just ...

and more »

TAYLOR: Slain officer remembered for his humor, smile and love of family
Southgate News Herald
“Nor will it be the last time we think of his keen sense of humor, his glorious smile and the love of his family he always talked about. ...
Funeral Held for Fallen Taylor Officer Matthew EdwardsMyFox Detroit

all 26 news articles »

Reuters
Ellen DeGeneres Quits "American Idol" as Judge
ABC News
"We were fortunate to receive the humor, energy and love for talent that she brought to the show." DeGeneres was hired last summer to replace the volatile ...
Ellen DeGeneres Will Not Return To Judge On 'American Idol'Hartford Courant
Ellen DeGeneres Resigns in American Idol – Contrave Promises Weight LossZacquisha
Ellen DeGeneres quits "American Idol" as judgeReuters
USA Today -San Jose Mercury News -Plain Dealer
all 1,101 news articles »

The humor in hot flashes
Worcester Telegram
By Richard Duckett TELEGRAM & GAZETTE STAFF The show holds its appeal because it's so normal. It tapped into a subject matter and audience that was being ...


Los Angeles Times
John Callahan dies at 59; politically incorrect cartoonist was a quadriplegic
Los Angeles Times
(Steve DiPaola) By Dennis McLellan, Los Angeles Times John Callahan, the quadriplegic cartoonist whose famously politically incorrect humor generated both ...
Acerbic and irreverent cartoonist John Callahan dies at 59Washington Post
Remembering Cartoonist John CallahanNPR
Cartoon Of The DayThe Atlantic (blog)

all 14 news articles »

Vamps Finds More Humor in Richard Lewis
ShockTillYouDrop.com
Comedian Richard Lewis (Curb Your Enthusiasm) is suiting up as an ACLU lawyer for Amy Heckerling upcoming Vamps. The modern-day story focuses on beautiful ...

and more »

McCourt's `The Irish ...' finds humor in adversity
eTaiwan News
AP Yet from the tragic 1840s potato famine to a haunting, modern U2 anthem, Pulitzer Prize-winning author and former history teacher ...

and more »
Google News

__________

Games at Buy.com

Kingston, Sandisk, Viewsonic, Canon, Toshiba

Cant Get There From Here

Can't Get There From Here Juneau is the capital of Alaska, but did... Read More

Wanted: Treadmill for an Elephant

Maggie, the 22 year-old African elephant, has been a resident of the Alaska Zoo since 1983. The Zoo recently decided that Maggie needs nicer quarters, more attention,... Read More

The Patience of Job

Voltaire said, "God is a comedian playing to an audience afraid to laugh." Translated, if you're a tight ass, there's a two drink minimum to read... Read More

Marines Dont Take Crap

We live in a world of widgets. People manufacture, distribute, and sell them. You name it, they're doing... Read More

Military Wives

I feel now is the perfect time to address the conflict service-members face when balancing between what they... Read More

Discover the Lighter Side of the Internet

We all know the Internet is a great tool for finding out information and sharing knowledge. But as a human sometimes sitting at a computer all day... Read More

The Language of Appalachia

Imagine my surprise when I went to Jamaica a few years ago and learned that I do, indeed, have an accent. You see, unlike my paternal grandmother,... Read More

Local Author Joins History and Humor To Tell His Stories

Joseph Yakel was born and raised in New York's Capital region, and calls this place home. His travels have taken him far and wide, but it's his... Read More

Voodoo Munchies

Looking for a lighthearted and fun way to remove the negative energy of a certain disruptive person from your life, or from your mind, if the person... Read More

Computers According to Carol

A is for Anti-Virus: she got it from my Uncle.B is for Backup: always look in your rear view mirror first.C is for Caddy: part of computer... Read More

Psychiatric Psychiatrist - A Joke on Psychiatry

A few weeks ago I went to see a psychiatrist.We talked about how I was feeling. I really wanted to hit him in the face when he... Read More

How To Get Attention, or: As You Read This, You Feel an Irresistible Urge to Go On Reading!

We all want attention. As children we crave the attention of our parents. Later in life, we want to be seen and noticed by friends and family.... Read More

How I Spent my Summer Vacation

One of the best parts of a vacation is the positive outlook you derive from pleasant anticipation. Another benefit is the afterglow, allowing you to feel right... Read More

Dog Poo - And You Thought You Had Problems

In Southern Germany in a town by the name of Bayreuth, the German police are in a quandary. The town's dog poo is under attack. Park officials... Read More

Funny Things We Dream

I often wonder why I wake up so happy, ready to start the day. When I was younger I'd whack the alarm clock, for the fourth time,... Read More

The Spare Parts Gremlins

Don't you just love getting a little something extra? Sure you do. Everybody does. That's why Online marketers throw in 36 bonus ebooks with that little software... Read More

The Work-from-home Fashion Primer

Last week, I reported how writers, stay-at-home parents and online marketing geeks had chosen careers as hermits:http://www.thehappyguy.com/hermit.htmlThousands of work-from-home hermits responded, confessing that they were... Read More

Laughing Toward Truth: Six Tips for Lighthearted Thinkers

Do you believe in the power of your convictions?It's time to lighten up.People love attaching themselves to ideas. We can get pretty feisty when one of our... Read More

Humor Quotations - Top 35 Funny Quotations by Famous Comedians

"Education is worth a whole lot. Just think - with enough education and brains the average man would make a good lawyer - and so would the... Read More

Painful Lessons from the Maternity Ward

Whoever dubbed New York, New York "the city that never sleeps" should visit The Maternity Ward. My recent visit included a drop-in on several screenings of "A... Read More

Norm Goldman Interviews Comedienne Fran Capo,the Guinness Book Worlds Record for the Fastest Talking

Today, Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel & Bookpleasures is delighted to have as a guest, Fran Capo.Fran is quite a "cool person," as she is an eight-time... Read More

Short Story: Take a Trip To The Temple Of The Great Tomato

Jimmy Jenkins Jr. is not an adventurer, traveler, or pioneer. Far from it, Jimmy has had the same job, in the same office for 15 years. He's... Read More

Humor Under The Keyboards

For me, the piano is the symbol of what is stiff, proper and elegant. It doesn't have faults, it is perfect. Pianists are the most perfectionist people... Read More

I Got to Play an April Fools Joke Before I was Born

I will start this by saying that yes, I did miss being an April Fool, but only by a tiny margin. I was born just twenty minutes... Read More

Saving SpongeBob Using High Tech

Put Active RFID Satellite Tags in SpongeBobsSpongeBob has been in the news a lot lately, he has been a kidnapped Victim. Instead of wasting time with an... Read More