Get What You Want - Negotiating Skills for the Timid!

OK, I know this title sounds self-serving and hard nosed, but the article isn't! Whether it's buying a car, asking for a pay rise, saying 'no' to a friend or renting an apartment - at some stage in our lives we all are going to need to know how to negotiate. Yet, so few of us know the basic skills before embarking on life changing purchases or decisions!

This article is written for those TIMID folk who want to feel more confident in the basic skills of negotiating. These are the skills I have learnt that have made all the difference in the world to my approach to asking for what I want. Being the ultimate 'server' (i.e. always helping others) and 'pacifier' (i.e. always smoothing over conflict) I figure there are plenty of people who would like to know these skills which, believe me, don't come naturally to some folk! Yet, they can make a significant difference to your sense of confidence when you learn them.

Here are 8 keys to learning how to negotiate well (for timid people who hate conflict).

1. Know the outcome you want.

Do you want a win-win outcome where both parties benefit? Or a win-lose outcome where someone (presumably the other party) is not happy with the result?

It is important you know what type of outcome you want because that will affect the long term relationship you have with the other party. Win-win outcomes are beneficial where you have an ongoing relationship. For example, when you negotiate a pay rise, you don't want your boss to feel he/she is the 'loser'. However, if you are buying a car from a car lot, you may not be so concerned about whether the car salesperson feels as though they 'won' in the negotiation!

2. Know your 'position'.

How important is this deal to you? How much do you need it? Could you walk away from the deal? What alternatives do you have? What is your "bottom line" and what (if anything) are you prepared to concede? You should not start negotiating until you have thought through and considered all of the consequences for all of the different outcomes that may eventuate.

3. Know your counterpart's 'position'.

Try to work out what is important to them in the deal. When you know that you have an advantage. Try not to reveal what is important to you! Keep a poker face and play your cards close to your chest.

4. Work out different scenarios ahead of time.

Being caught by surprise will NOT strengthen your position! Think through all the different possibilities which may eventuate and plan for each and every one of them. It is useful to brainstorm and write down on a piece of paper what could possibly happen. For example, if they said, "XYZ" - I would respond with, "ABC". This way you can be prepared for just about anything that may happen.

5. Know yourself.

Know your own weaknesses. If you are a more gentle personality your natural aversion to conflict may toss you into concessions that aren't necessary! If this is you, learn about yourself and take counter action. If you are overly stubborn and never give way to minor points, know this about yourself. Your stubbornness, holding out for 100% your own way, may cause you to lose a really great deal!

6. Back up your position with logic.

If you negotiate from a purely emotional position, emotion will sway you from your position. Fear of loss, sense of failure, conflict, pressure, sentiment! All can be applied to sway you from sticking to what you really want. When negotiating for a pay rise know what similar companies are paying for similar work. When placing an offer on a house substantiate your lower offer with the costs of repaving the driveway, renovating the bathroom, retiling the entrance?.or whatever you see needs doing. This is a much stronger position than plucking a number out of thin air!

7. Work out what you can concede.

Find something in the deal that for you will not be important but for your counterpart may be of significance. This will be like gold to you! A 'sweetener' can be what clinches the bargain in your favour. You will need to be poker faced and pretend this is a big deal to concede! Save this item for the final offer you make.

8. Have an exit strategy.

If everything goes against you, you will be saved by your contingency planning! If you don't feel in control, stop talking. Immediately!!! Make sure you are listening to the other person. If you are doing most of the talking the chances are you are doing most of the conceding. Offer to break the meeting and reconvene at another time when you have been able to consider what has already been put forward.

Skillful negotiation takes time and practice. Armed with these basic skills it doesn't matter how reticient you may feel towards negotiating an outcome you want! By applying these keys you will be well positioned to improve your negotiation skills and feel more empowered when approaching tricky situations.

(c) Kim Beardsmore

Kim Beardsmore operates an international marketing business. We are looking for people to join our expanding team of work-at-homers. If you are serious about earning money from home and are willing to work (this isn't 'get rich quick'), then we'd like to help you grow a profitable business. We offer complete training, online and offline resources and a partnership for success: http://free2liv.com/?refid=ngtat-567885474

---

In Leadership, Identifying Dreams That Lead To Great Results

History teaches that when people needed to do great things, a leader first had to gather them together and speak from the heart. This heartfelt speech was... Read More

Visions of Leadership

Right about now, you've made the discovery that if you intend to push your company beyond its current plateau, you will have to change the... Read More

Communication Skills & Leadership - Organizational Communications Processes in Leadership Activity

"Sooth 't were a pleasant life to lead, With nothing in the world to do But just to blow a shepherd's reed, The silent season thro' And... Read More

Four Obstacles to Exceptional Leadership--Part 1

"Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them." -- Orison Swett... Read More

10 Attributes of Effective Strategic Leaders!

Did you know that people who lead strategically resemble fine-tuned machines? By focusing on their strategies, leaders see a bigger picture, they understand the reasons why and... Read More

Coaching a Leader

One of my favorite memories growing up as a child was making trips with my family to my sister's volleyball tournaments on the weekends. Those memories are... Read More

Your Ultimate Leadership Feedback Loop: Their Leadership

Life on our planet flourishes through feedback. If life forms don't develop feedback loops and get good information about how well they are interacting with their world,... Read More

Ask Yourself Whats In It For WE?

"Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success." - Henry Ford"Individual commitment to a group effort, that is what makes a team... Read More

Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 6, Deadlocked Discussions

Although a meeting is a vehicle for resolving differences, it can break down when the participants become mired in a disagreement.Approach 1: Form a subcommitteeAsk for volunteers... Read More

UNCLOS III Process model

The United Nations Conference on Law of the Sea was ground breaking in the way negotiations were conducted. Several strategies were employed that allowed for efficient negotiation... Read More

Character -- Why It Matters In Leaders

"Character is much easier kept than recovered." -Thomas Paine"The best index to a person's character is (a) how he treats people who can't do him any good,... Read More

Beyond Authority: Debunking the Top 3 Leadership Myths

Have you noticed that across the business world people are recognizing that we are fast outgrowing the thinking and language of hierarchy, but we're also struggling to... Read More

A Winning Choice for Leadership!

"The only way to enjoy anything in this life, is to earn it first." -Ginger RodgersOne bad apple can spoil the bunch! As a leader, we cannot... Read More

Chris Top 7 Favorite Leadership Books

1. The West Point Way of Leadership.GREAT book by a man who taught leadership at West Point for 20 years.2. Developing the Leader Within You.All around book.... Read More

Take the Road Less Traveled

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." - Robert FrostI watched Leni... Read More

Seven Personal Characteristics Of A Good Leader

How often have you heard the comment, "He or she is a born leader?" There are certain characteristics found in some people that seem to naturally put... Read More

Real Charisma, Clinton Style

What exactly is Charisma? Most would agree that it is a magical, illusive, personal quality, divinely endowed on some people more than others. One thing is for... Read More

Are You a Leader or a Manager?

President Ike Eisenhower once demonstrated the difference between leadership and management to his cabinet by putting a piece of string in a straight line on the conference... Read More

Leadership and Followership in a Team Setting

Many solopreneurs work in a team environment either with their client's staff, or with subcontractors. Having spent over 20 years in a teaming environment before becoming a... Read More

Abe Lincoln: An Extraordinary Leader

Perhaps noted as one of the greatest United States presidents of all time, Abraham Lincoln's early life may not have reflected his potential greatness. He failed in... Read More

A Good Leader Knows The Teams Colours

Leadership can be a very challenging task. As leaders we don't always get to choose who is on our team. In fact very often a leader inherits... Read More

Strengthening Leadership Development with Employees

Within every business lies a network of people who are working to make their employer successful. Because growing business requires more employees, employers need to seek prospective... Read More

C4 Leadership: Taking Your Leadership (and your Life) from Good...To Explosive!

Chances are if you're interested in this post, you're looking for a few tips to take your leadership and/or your life, up a notch or two. Read... Read More

Leadership ? Push vs. Pull?

At your next staff meeting consider leading your team through the following discussion.This lesson is focused on getting people to think in terms of effective leadership. When... Read More

Leadership Lessons from Pope John Paul II

"Heroes are rebels with a cause. Rebels because they challenge the traditional ways of thinking and refuse to follow the herd. They have a cause, a vision,... Read More

Sometimes Leaders Need to Get the Boot

Today I stood up to a guy right in front of his boss. I challenged him, the former leader, to change his position and give up his... Read More