The Seven Cs: Partnership Danger Signs - Conflict Becoming the Norm ? Part 2

A series of articles exploring the seven critical areas that can indicate a partnership is in trouble.

Conflict Becoming the Norm ? Part 2

In a previous article, I wrote about how unresolved conflict can create havoc in your business and can often end in a failed partnership. Today, I share with you a story about a pair of clients I recently worked with.

Sue and Vicki were partners in a service organization that thrived on new membership and putting on events. Sue and Vicki had been coaching with me for over a year and had learned well how to keep things running smoothly running between them. Now they were stuck on an issue that they weren't able to resolve on their own. They knew enough not to escalate it before their next coaching session.

Vicki had decided that one of Sue's responsibilities had more appeal and status than some of her own. Sue enjoyed the task and was loathe to relinquish it. In our session when Vicki pressed, and because they had developed deep caring for each other, Sue was ready to say a reluctant yes.

Before allowing that to be the unsatisfying resolution, I asked Sue to explain what the task meant to her. She said that everything she did prior to that task was build up towards it and that completing the task was closure to a job well done.

Vicki had never looked at it that way. To her it appeared as an isolated task. It was a revelation and she had a different understanding, backing off of her request.

Sue looked relieved.

However, I wanted Vicki to feel satisfied as well, so I asked if any part of her responsibilities gave her that same feeling of fulfillment. She pondered for a few minutes and was able to affirm that a lot of what she did was that meaningful to her and she preferred to continue doing what she was doing.

What happened here? Conflict was averted early even before it became a festering resentment.

And Sue and Vicki got a bonus -- they each achieved an appreciation and understanding not only of the other partner but of themselves and the work they did. Their self knowledge increased and their partnership bond deepened even more.

Here is an example of another conflict with a different resolution. The Home and Garden TV Show "Designing for the Sexes" is a brilliant example of resolving conflicts for a win-win with very little compromise. A designer goes in when a couple has two opposing views on how they want one of their rooms to look.

A recent episode was about a husband who did the cooking and wanted his kitchen to look like a restaurant, industrial and stainless steel throughout. His wife wanted a traditional old world look. You couldn't be farther apart than that.

I always appreciate how the couples (probably coached) never argue for their point of view, but always in a reasonable matter of fact voice state what they want or what they like or don't about a suggested item.

The outcome is always a beautiful room with very little compromise. What I have observed is the designer is able to incorporate each person's wants within other options that they hadn't even thought about.

In this episode, sleek wood panels on the cabinets and refrigerator, stainless steel appliances, granite counter with tiles used as accents created a look that thrilled and pleased both people.

Lesson to be learned: your way is not the only way. If you open your mind and keep your emotions in check you could discover many other and perhaps even more pleasing ideas than the one you think you must have.

About The Author

Dorene Lehavi, Ph.D. is principal of Next Level Business and Professional Coaching. She coaches Professionals and Business Partners and teaches teleclasses on techniques to break through barriers to the next level. Dr. Lehavi offers a complimentary coaching session so you can experience how coaching can work for you. Contact Dr. Lehavi at Dorene@CoachingforYourNextLevel.com or on the web at Http://www.CoachingforYourNextLevel.com. Subscribe to Mastering Your Next Level monthly e-newsletter at http://www.coachingforyournextlevel.com/newsletter.html

dorene@nextlevelpartnership.com

In The News:

---

PRACTICE MANAGEMENT: What Brokers Should Know Before They Go
CNNMoney.com - 7 hours ago
( Kristen McNamara writes Practice Management, a column that looks at ways financial advisers can build and improve their business. ...

MedaSorb Technologies Corporation Announces Management Changes
CNNMoney.com - 7 hours ago
These statements are based on management's current expectations and assumptions and are naturally subject to uncertainty and changes in circumstances. ...

HE-5 Resources, Corp. Announces Reorganizational Changes Are ...
CNNMoney.com - 11 hours ago
New Management stated the following: "We are very pleased to begin our new operations and to share our visions and exclusive development program whit HE-5 ...

Calamos Asset Management cuts 12% of workforce
Chicago Tribune, United States - 3 hours ago
It had $23.8 billion in assets under management as of November, down from $46.2 billion in December 2007. The job cuts were made companywide, except for the ...
Calamos trimming staff by 12% Crain's Chicago Business
Calamos Asset Management, Inc. Reduces Staff as Part of Expense ... PR Newswire (press release)
all 13 news articles

United Press International
With two jobs comes big balancing act for performance chief
GovExec.com, DC - 3 hours ago
By Elizabeth Newell enewell@govexec.com January 9, 2009 By asking chief performance officer nominee Nancy Killefer to double as Office of Management and ...
Management Consulting in the Government? Newsweek
Chief Performance Officer: Nancy Killefer TIME
Obama Appoints Government Performance Officer Washington Post
The Associated Press - CFO.com Magazineall 488 news articles

Pimco reinstates 2 dividends
Forbes, NY - 1 hour ago
AP , 01.09.09, 07:48 PM EST Pacific Investment Management Co., which runs the world's largest bond fund, said on Friday it would reinstate a monthly common ...
Helios High Income Fund, Inc. Monthly Dividend Declaration CNNMoney.com
Pimco Pays Seven Dividends It Postponed Last Month Financial-Planning.com
Nicholas-Applegate Convertible & Income Fund II Declares Common ... GlobeNewsWire (press release)
PR-Inside.com (Pressemitteilung)all 77 news articles

Amazon’s New Management Console Treads Lightly
GigaOm, CA - 7 hours ago
Today, Amazon ( s AMZN) Web Services announced a management console that illustrates how carefully Amazon is playing its role as a platform provider. ...
Amazon Web Services Launches Management Console CMSWire
Amazon Web Services releases web-based EC2 console CNET News
Amazon EC2 launches Web-based management console Examiner.com
ReadWriteWeb - PC Worldall 29 news articles

University of California regents may freeze management pay
Bizjournals.com, NC - 8 hours ago
A pay freeze for senior management of the University of California system will be considered by the UC Board of Regents during a Jan. 14 teleconference. ...

JPMorgan Asset Management's Bull SA Stake Falls To 1.72%
CNNMoney.com - 8 hours ago
PARIS -(Dow Jones)- JPMorgan Asset Management's stake in French IT company Bull SA (BULL.FR) has fallen through the 5% threshold to 1.72%, according to a ...

Ipswitch WhatsUp Gold Network Management Gives Back in 2009
MSNBC - 16 hours ago
LEXINGTON, MA - Ipswitch, Inc.'s Network Management division, the leading developer of affordable and easy to use network management software, WhatsUp Gold, ...

management - Google News

The Power of Positive Communication

Communication is the key to your success at work, at play, and at home. Here are six tips that will make a difference in your life:1) People... Read More

Print Buying Consultant

Ten Money Saving Tips for Print ManagersDespite their stated desire to realize savings from streamlining the various components associated with the print buying process, it's been my... Read More

Innovation Management ? Good Leadership

Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation whilst innovation can be defined as idea selection, development and commercialisation.There are other useful definitions in this... Read More

Is Your Employee Newsletter Management Propaganda?

It should not be. If it is an effective newsletter, it will serve the needs of readers (employees) as much as it serves the needs of the... Read More

Benefits of Virtual Assistance

A virtual assistant is an individual who provides business services to other professionals. They're considered virtual because they perform their services from a remote location. Communications with... Read More

Well-Defined Processes ? How to Create

Interested in learning how to reduce development time, save money and stay in control? Business professionals can learn how to create well-defined processes with the easy-to-manage Process... Read More

Inventory Management 101

Inventory management may seem complicated to some, but if one truly thinks about what the words "inventory management" mean, it is a simple concept. Inventory is basically... Read More

Is Chess Good for Management?

The game of chess has been applauded and taught in business school as a game that gingers creative intelligence.Chess is a game involving kings, queens, bishops, knights,... Read More

How to get an Audiences Attention

A trainer dryly discussing how to motivate people in an organization basically has just another "point-by-point" presentation. But suppose that he mounts the podium and begins to... Read More

Communication in Business

Effective communication in business is not about creating the perfect PowerPoint presentation. It's not about writing the perfectly-pitched report. It's not even about assiduously alliterating {smile}.Sometimes effectively... Read More

Outsourcing NOT Just for Big Business

Outsourcing has become a controversial issue and a hot topic among presidential candidates this year. But have you stopped to think how your business can benefit from... Read More

Leadership Style: What Makes A Good Boss?

In today's competitive environment, companies realize that a good boss is one who can identify and build on the talents of the staff and knows how to... Read More

ISO 9001 What Records Does My Business Need To Keep?

Which documents must I keep for ISO 9001?In addition to the legislative requirement for your business to keep certain records ISO 9001 2000 requires your business to... Read More

Do You Need a Personal Assistant?

It's great to be multi-skilled?be able to type your own correspondence, do your bookkeeping, answer all phone calls, prepare your PowerPoint presentations, organise your own travel, seminars,... Read More

The 5 Obsessions of a Passionate Employee

A recent report entitled "How Google Grows?and Grows?and Grows" stated that the 650 people that work at Google are the most passionate bunch of geeks in the... Read More

Allowing Employees Responsibility

Merely assigning a task with detailed instructions is not effective delegation. An employee cannot grow without the freedom to make decisions on how the job should be... Read More

Book Summary: Mind Your Own Business

A maverick is an independent person who will not go along with the other members of a group (Oxford ESL Dictionary). This book provides priceless stories and... Read More

Organisation Tips For The Mobile Executive

Despite the fact that everyone sighs "How glamorous!", the life of the business traveller can actually be hell! Fighting international datelines, jetlag, airline food, hotel pillows filled... Read More

Managing Group Meetings

MANAGING SMALL MEETINGS: Keep the size of the meeting as small as possible. The larger the group, the more complicated communication becomes and the more garbled the... Read More

Attract and Retain Positively Great Employees - An Action Plan for Employee Training

Everyday a business owner, CEO, or manager somewhere is complaining about the lack of good employees. On the same day, in a break room, employees are complaining... Read More

Difficult Employees-Poor Performance - 10 Tips for Dealing with it in the Workplace

I personally struggle with the term 'managing people' - because I firmly believe that people cannot be managed ? only processes and systems can. How many times... Read More

Why People Resist Us

There's a one-word reason most ideas never see the light of day: Resistance.Resistance is often behind the glassy-eyed stares you get following a presentation, the sarcastic put-downs... Read More

The Permissive Environment is the Suspect

The permissive and participatory conduct which most employees take for granted, eventually escalates into the more serious assaultive behavior commonly referred to as employee on employee workplace... Read More

What Every Manager Should Know About How to Conduct Successful Meetings

Do you announce a meeting and find either no one shows up on time, they come with their own agenda, or the meeting goes on and on?... Read More

Innovation Management ? Six Crucial Steps

Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation whilst innovation can be defined as idea selection, development and commercialisation.There are other useful definitions in this... Read More

Knowledge Management - Learning Whilst Doing - Facilitating an After Action Review

Introducing a learning culture into organisations can be difficult at times, particularly if the effort required it great and the benefits aren't quickly identifiable.After Action Reviews (known... Read More