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10 Valentines Day Tips for Spouses Who Want to Improve Their Marriage
The best and most valuable gifts are often not material ones. While many spouses focus on Valentine's Day gifts such as jewelry or candy, spouses who are willing to invest the time and energy can give one of the most precious gifts possible-an improved, satisfying marriage.
Long after the romantic card is tucked away and the box of candy is empty, this marriage-enriching gift will still be appreciated and enjoyed. Follow these ten steps to give yourself and your spouse an unforgettable Valentine's Day gift:
1. Direct your energy into becoming the kind of marriage partner you'd like to have. It's easy to criticize a spouse for not being perfect while we overlook our own imperfections.
2. Focus on how you need to change in order to be a better partner. The only person you can ultimately change is yourself.
3. Accept responsibility for your own actions. You take a giant leap forward in growth the day you can say, "I'm sorry for my actions" instead of rationalizing and offering excuses.
4. Minimize blame and resentment. They are toxic and can poison your marriage and your life.
5. Practice forgiveness, not to let your partner off the hook, but because you want to move forward without carrying the weight of past hurts.
6. Break your marriage goals down into small steps and begin taking action. It'll be easier to continue moving forward when you start seeing progress.
7. Adopt the philosophy expressed in the Serenity Prayer: "God, grant me serenity to accept what I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."
8. Focus on what you can do and give instead of keeping tabs about who is doing the most or making the greatest effort in your marriage.
9. Strive for balance in your own life between family, friends, work, sports, hobbies, recreation, and other interests. Then you won't be as likely to obsess about the imperfections in your partner.
10. Reward and praise yourself often for hanging in there in a challenging situation. You deserve it!
Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This e-book is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com, where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Nancy can be contacted at Nancy@KeepYourMarriage.com.
New York Times
New York Times, United States - Jan 7, 2009
“With these new digs, there might just be a new world wedding capital.” The city clerk’s office issued 66600 marriage licenses 2007 and performed about ...
Manhattan's new Marriage Bureau earns wows as a place to say your vows New York Daily News
NY hears wedding bells, aims to compete with Vegas The Associated Press
Wedding Bells Ring In NYC Marriage Bureau WNYC
Downtown Express - Gothamistall 254 news articles
Boston Globe
Kansas City Star, MO - 12 hours ago
And their mutual friends will have to decide which wedding to attend. All would be well if only one of them would cancel (or if they would agree to a double ...
Video: Ann Hathaway's Stellar Year CBS
Two Weddings and a Furor New York Times
'Bride Wars' A Marriage Of Mediocrity Tampa Tribune
Boston Globe - Washington Postall 729 news articles
New York Times
San Francisco Chronicle, USA - 4 hours ago
The opening wedding scene in the new Bill Duke film, "Not Easily Broken" is so overwrought and cliched, it's akin to sitting down with a promising novel, ...
Not Easily Broken ( ** ) AHN
Movie Review: ‘Not Easily Broken’ is a romantic soap opera that ... Providence Journal
» Inspirational drama anything but 'Broken' Chicago Daily Herald
Pittsburgh Post Gazette - Kansas City Starall 67 news articles
Los Angeles Times
Los Angeles Times, CA - 14 minutes ago
While weddings are a familiar trope to Hollywood comedies, spawning such films as "Wedding Crashers," "The Wedding Planner" and "Four Weddings and a Funeral ...
Chicago Tribune, United States - 9 hours ago
By Roger Moore | Tribune Newspapers What it's about: Best friends become dueling brides when they both book the wedding they've always dreamed of in the ...
KVBC, NV - 7 hours ago
The city has renovated it marriage bureau and even built a 24000-square-foot wedding complex with the hope of becoming the most popular wedding site. ...
The Canadian Press, NEW YORK - 19 hours ago
"The magazine is realistic about how people's lives are today, but still the focus is how to have a successful wedding and start a healthy marriage," says ...
New York Magazine
New York Magazine, USA - Jan 7, 2009
Photo: Getty Images Perhaps sensing the economic downturn (and having eventually watched the Sex and the City movie), the city spruced up its civil-wedding ...
MLive.com
MLive.com, MI - 18 hours ago
Luczak said economics could be partly to blame, as young couples struggling to get a foothold in life may be putting off the expense of a wedding.
MSNBC
MSNBC - 11 hours ago
Cheryl and Jeff Scruggs, founders of Hope Marriage Ministries, recount the slow destruction of their relationship, which ended in divorce. ...
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