Living in LOVE : Remembering Why You Married

Home
>
Marriage & Wedding
>
Living in LOVE : Remembering Why You Married

Living in LOVE : Remembering Why You Married

The kids are yelling, the dog is barking, and you just found out that your spouse forgot to do the one thing that you needed them to do today?again! This scenario may sound typical for your family, or your scenario could be worse. Maybe you and your spouse are arguing more and more, and connecting less and less? You may have even asked yourself, "Is this marriage a mistake?". Though you knew your life wouldn't be like the Brady Bunch, you may find yourself surprised at just how much work a marriage can be ? and its twice as hard if only one person is working at it.

If this is your situation, ask yourself why you married your spouse? I know it sounds silly, but really?why did you marry them? "Because we were in love"- well, that's the easy answer-go deeper. See, life happens?kids are born, cars breakdown, jobs are lost, and through all of the ups and downs that are inevitable, its important that you remember why you married this person.

Reflect:

Think of the first time you saw your spouse. What is one thing that stood out to you about them?

Remember one time when you were sad, angry or disappointed and your spouse really came through for you. What happened? How did it make you feel?

What is one thing funny thing you know about your spouse that no one else knows?

Think back to your single life, before you met your spouse. What was it like? Now, really think ? what is one small thing your spouse does to make you happy that you are here and not back there?

Remember a time when your spouse did something out of the ordinary and surprised you. What did that moment feel like?

Remember the first time you saw your spouse holding your child. How did that make you feel?

Remind:

In a quiet time when both you and your spouse are sitting together, bring up your first date. Bring up your happiest memories of this day.

Think of a funny story about when you first were married ? good choices are dinners gone bad, ruined laundry, etc.

Talk about when you first became parents. What were your fears and hopes. Mention something positive about their parenting, and their connecting to your children.

Renew

If you eat dinner infront of the TV, stop. Gather together at the table with the TV's off, so you can actually connect to your family rather than 'veg out'.

Be nice. Okay, sometimes that's easier said than done, but a little sweetness can go a long way. When you get up or go to another room, ask, "Can I get you anything?"

Be forgetful. Don't remember every little thing your spouse has done that irritates you. Sometimes we hold on to the past because it feels familiar. Its not fair to hold the past against your spouse, and its not fair for them to do it to you. If they do, lead by example. Once they see you letting go of the past, they will also. As long as they know you are holding on to the past for future fight ammunition, they will do the same.

Touch. Place your hand on your spouse's hand; lay your arm across their shoulders. An innocent touch can be just the softness and connection that your spouse is looking for.

Overlook. There is nothing gained by pointing out all of your spouse's short comings, and when they have made a mistake don't use it as an opportunity to put them down. Surprise them by 'not noticing' their mistake. No one likes to have their mistakes pointed out to them. We are all adults, and its likely that they are already aware of what they've done.

The point is, take some time to remember why you are in this marriage, take some self control and control your end of the marriage, and take the gloves off. Your spouse is not your enemy, and remember though children are the products of marriage, they are not the glue that holds a marriage together?love is.

Living in love with your spouse can sometimes be challenging, and that's okay- that's why the vows read for better, or for worse. With a little bit of effort on your part, and a partner that really loves you it is absolutely possible to live in love, and that is not only a great gift to yourself and your spouse. Living in love is a wonderful gift to your children.

About The Author

Samantha Olea is a designer, business woman, wife, and most of all Mother of 2! Samantha founded a free parenting resource at http://TheBestMoms.com hoping to help every mom be the very best mom they can be! Samantha is also the owner of her own web design, graphic design, and hosting firm at : http://getwrappedup.com and AWU Gifts: http://Gifts.GetWrappedUp.com, where she helps Moms start their own business and work from their homes.

sam@thebestmoms.com

In The News:

WELT ONLINE
California's homophobic vote hurts all of us
Boston Globe, United States - 7 hours ago
And though our marriage is not in jeopardy, what happened in California personally devastated me. Besides both my wedding days, the happiest day of my life ...
Time to Stop The Wedding - by Bruce Potts The Young Turks
Equality Lost: Same-sex Marriage is a Civil Rights Issue of the ... Pacific Citizen
California Supreme Court to decide fate of Prop. 8 same-sex ... San Jose Mercury News
Hartford Courant - Xinhuaall 1,459 news articles

A wedding is all about the marriage, not the ceremony
Poughkeepsie Journal, NY - 4 hours ago
Those could have been the words to our wedding march as my fiancé and I stepped into the sunroom at the home of a justice of the peace to take our vows. ...

Rolling out the welcome mat to gay marriage
Connecticut Post, CT - 7 hours ago
A day after Rainbow Wedding Network's expo in Shelton, the North Carolina couple will fill out a marriage license at Shelton City Hall. ...

Contactmusic.com
Reese & Jake: No Wedding Plans
The Daily Blabber from iVillage, NY - Nov 21, 2008
"Family is all we have in life, but I don't know how I feel about marriage," the actress, 32, who's divorce from Ryan Phillippe was finalized this past June ...
No Wedding Bells for Reese and Jake in Near Future TV Guide
Star not ready to walk aisle Calgary Herald
all 62 news articles

The Ritz-Carlton Hotels, Caribbean & Mexico Announce New ...
MarketWatch - 16 hours ago
When booking a wedding on the Reconnect(R) package, for a minimum of three nights and twenty-five rooms or more, couples will receive a complimentary ...

Boston Globe
Goodbye, Girl
Boston Globe, United States - 9 hours ago
Together we shop for a wedding dress, and right before my eyes my daughter grows up. By Marianne Jacobbi I'm sitting outside the dressing room watching ...

Planting tree before marriage a must in Balikpapan
Jakarta Post, Indonesia - 1 hour ago
Consider it as a wedding gift for the government,” he said. He hoped that the planting trees would become a new habit of the citizens of Balikpapan. ...

New York Daily News
Prop. 8 opponents rally across California to protest gay-marriage ban
Los Angeles Times, CA - Nov 16, 2008
It was supposed to be their wedding day. Kirkman and Gonzalez, both 48 from Lawndale, began planning their wedding two months ago and didn't worry about ...
Video: Gay Advocates Protest Marriage Ban Around Nation AssociatedPress
Rally against Prop. 8 Napa Valley Register
Area protesters join nationwide rally Troy Record
Foster's Daily Democrat - WDIVall 1,268 news articles

Ten Ways to Recession Proof your Wedding
Huffington Post, NY - 32 minutes ago
Secondly, take two years from the engagement till the actual marriage. That could double your time to save and prepare. Third, consider a double up. ...

Sovo.com
Anti-gay bias puts blacks in bad company
Chicago Sun-Times, United States - Nov 18, 2008
Still, who are we to decide that men who love men and women who love women can't bind their love with a legal commitment we call marriage? After the wedding ...
When Marriage Debate Turns Ugly, No One Wins North Country Gazette
Still Roiled By Prop 8 Gay City News
Pop culture is “fabulous,” but marriage rights aren’t (yet) Golden Gate [X]Press
Newsweek - San Francisco Bay Viewall 457 news articles

marriage wedding - Google News

Your Ad Here

Living in LOVE : Remembering Why You Married

Marriage & Wedding Marriage & Wedding