Your Wedding Invitation?s in the (e)Mail: Pros and Cons of the Virtual Wedding Invitation

From purchasing the garter to choosing the photographer, brides (and grooms!) are online and as the Internet's many advantages have begun to permeate most every aspect of wedding planning, a single question has been popping up more and more: can I use the Internet for my wedding invitations? As a wedding website designer I've answered numerous emails from brides asking if an email announcement to visit their wedding website can not just supplement their wedding invitation but actually replace it. It's an interesting idea, one with the potential to save a great deal of time and money. However, one big question remains. Is it acceptable? Considering the potential benefits, it's certainly a question worth asking, and some compelling arguments can be found on both sides.

First, consider the many purposes of a wedding invitation. Most obvious is the intent that the recipient understands who is invited. Also important is the inclusion of maps and directions, RSVP information, reply cards and essential wedding details. Furthermore, the wedding invitation is an expression of the couple's personal style and can serve as a memento for friends and family to remember the event. Considering all these essential functions, the question, then, is whether the traditional wedding invitation can be replaced by a simple email invitation to visit the couple's site online. Certainly, a creative and informative wedding website can serve the majority of the purposes mentioned. In fact, wedding details might be more specific and useful on a website given the amount of space that can be afforded an entire page devoted to each subject. One can easily give details and links to important wedding locations, schedules, maps, etc. Also, if the bride and groom are able to create their own site or find a designer they like, they can certainly express their own unique style and theme on a wedding website. But what about the empty space in grandma's album just waiting for her granddaughter's wedding invitation? Here is where an online invitation falls short. One solution, however, could be to purchase or make a wedding CD with the website on it. Technologically hip grandparents can treasure this memento like they would a written invitation (even if it doesn't go well in an album).

Still can't decide? Consider some of the pros and cons of the "virtual invitation":

Pros:
*Save money on wedding invitations (certainly the most compelling argument for many). The cost of an online invitation, including one designed by a reasonably priced professional, should be considerably less than sending written invitations for an average sized wedding when factoring in the cost of the printing, postage, and reply cards.
*Save the time of selecting and sending written invitations, especially if you were going to have a wedding website anyway.
*Make things a little easier for those guests who already do a great deal online.
*Receive RSVP responses via email.
*Include links to maps and directions.
*Have wedding details laid out for guests to avoid the bother of answering the same questions over and over.
*Include important links so guests can find the information they need on such things as local attractions, accommodations, and travel (particularly useful for destination weddings).

Cons:
*Compiling all of your guests' current email addresses can be a daunting task.
*Not everyone is online. Unless you know for a fact that you can get your email invitation to everyone who should receive one, this is not a good option. You never want to offend family and friends when planning a wedding.
*Etiquette, etiquette, etiquette. If etiquette is particularly important to you or the people who will be receiving your invitations, this is not the right choice for you.

For those who are thinking the whole "virtual invitation" is too drastic a change I suggest a compromise. Many couples are finding that combining the modern with the traditional is the way to go until all their friends and family have caught on to the Internet. The couple's web address can be included in the traditional invitation so their guests can have two sources for wedding information. Also, written invitations can be sent with instructions to RSVP online thus saving the couple time and money for postage and reply cards (with just a slight bend in tradition).

In the end, whether it's traditional, modern or modern-traditional, what matters most is that the bride and groom have the wedding they desire. The best advice I can give is don't worry too much about tradition and etiquette; rather, spend the time planning the wedding of your dreams and maybe make some traditions of your own along the way.

copyright 2003 Tamara Baker and Celebrate Our Lives Wedding Websites

Tamara Baker is the owner of and website designer at Celebrate Our Lives Wedding Websites. She has been hand designing couples' wedding websites since 2002.

In The News:

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The Southern Ledger
Eloping to Vegas? Why Not Lower Manhattan?
New York Times, United States - Jan 7, 2009
“With these new digs, there might just be a new world wedding capital.� The city clerk’s office issued 66600 marriage licenses in 2007 and performed about ...
Manhattan's new Marriage Bureau earns wows as a place to say your vows New York Daily News
NY hears wedding bells, aims to compete with Vegas The Associated Press
Wedding Bells Ring In NYC Marriage Bureau WNYC
Downtown Express - Gothamistall 254 news articles

New York Times
‘Bride Wars’ is a failed marriage | 1 ½ stars
Kansas City Star, MO - 13 hours ago
And their mutual friends will have to decide which wedding to attend. All would be well if only one of them would cancel (or if they would agree to a double ...
Video: Ann Hathaway's Stellar Year CBS
'Bride Wars' stars Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway are funny allies Los Angeles Times
Two Weddings and a Furor New York Times
Tampa Tribune - Boston Globeall 769 news articles

Boston Globe
Movie review: Cliches nag 'Not Easily Broken'
San Francisco Chronicle,  USA - 6 hours ago
The opening wedding scene in the new Bill Duke film, "Not Easily Broken" is so overwrought and cliched, it's akin to sitting down with a promising novel, ...
Not Easily Broken ( ** ) AHN
Movie Review: ‘Not Easily Broken’ is a romantic soap opera that ... Providence Journal
» Inspirational drama anything but 'Broken' Chicago Daily Herald
Pittsburgh Post Gazette - Kansas City Starall 82 news articles

FOR FAMILIES: A guide for parents to Jan. 9 and earlier releases
Chicago Tribune, United States - 11 hours ago
By Roger Moore | Tribune Newspapers What it's about: Best friends become dueling brides when they both book the wedding they've always dreamed of in the ...

Wedding war: Las Vegas versus New York
KVBC, NV - 9 hours ago
The city has renovated it marriage bureau and even built a 24000-square-foot wedding complex with the hope of becoming the most popular wedding site. ...

Wearing white and eating cake, Brides magazine turns 75
The Canadian Press, NEW YORK - 21 hours ago
"The magazine is realistic about how people's lives are today, but still the focus is how to have a successful wedding and start a healthy marriage," says ...

New York Magazine
City to Make Your Shotgun Marriage Just That Much Nicer
New York Magazine,  USA - Jan 7, 2009
Photo: Getty Images Perhaps sensing the economic downturn (and having eventually watched the Sex and the City movie), the city spruced up its civil-wedding ...

MLive.com
Bay County gets older, refrains from marriage, likes guns ...
MLive.com, MI - 19 hours ago
Luczak said economics could be partly to blame, as young couples struggling to get a foothold in life may be putting off the expense of a wedding.

Former First Lady Cornelia Wallace Dies At 69
NBC13.com, AL - 5 hours ago
Just 16 months after their wedding Governor Wallace was shot. The assassination attempt left Wallace paralyzed. Fifty-four days later, he left the hospital ...

KHOU
Houston wedding show could help brides on a budget
KHOU, TX - Jan 7, 2009
“I refuse to go into this marriage in debt, “ says Ashley. “That's no way to start out.� -- Watch the flowers. All those arrangements can quickly add up. ...

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