Practice, Practice, Practice

It may sound silly but the key to self-confidence and building more self-esteem is through practice. Practice what it is you want to feel more confident about and eventually, the confidence will show itself. That makes sense if we're talking about a skill like playing the piano. With enough practice, you naturally begin to get good at it and then you feel more confident. But what about tougher things like public speaking or meeting new people? How do you practice something that you're terrified to do in the first place?

If you have extreme self-esteem issues then you might want to seek professional help, but if you've determined that isn't necessary, I would suggest that you start out by finding something that you genuinely love to do. Other than maybe reading books or doing crossword puzzles over coffee, most hobbies are a good place to start. Do you love to paint? Do you love to play a musical instrument? Do you love athletics? Find something that you love to do or that you think you would love to do. It's not important what it is other than that it would bring you into contact with people on a tiny level. Unless you're living in a cave somewhere, somebody is going to see your art work, hear your music, or see you running around practicing your sport. You don't have to pick a big team oriented thing, just something that fascinates you and will be noticeable. Then do it. Learn to draw, take music lessons, start playing basketball in your own driveway, whatever, just start doing something that you can really enjoy.

Keep doing it until you get really good at it. It doesn't have to necessarily be your career, but that would be fun for you if it was. Practice often and with complete joy. Lose yourself in it. That's part of overcoming self-confidence issues is forgetting to think about you. Swim laps at the pool until you forget to care how you look. Get lost in something other than analyzing yourself. Fall in love with some hobby that takes your mind away from what others might think of you. Just keep practicing something you love until you get really good at it. It's your hobby and your love, so don't make any judgments over whether or not it's stupid to like doing whatever it is that you like doing. Just get on with it.

When you're in the moment -- writing music or designing websites or whatever it is you've chosen, take a moment to reflect on how far you've come. At some point, you're going to realize that you're not too bad. At another point, you'll even think, "Hey, I'm pretty good at this." Someday, you'll look up and notice that you're an expert or at the very least awesome at what you've chosen to do. Take that growing self-confidence that's connected to your hobby and begin channeling it into other areas. Depending on how much of a self-esteem problem you started out with it could be a matter of months or years before you are able to really see yourself in a new light. It's one thing to say that everyone has their unique and special talent. It's quite another to find and embrace your own.

Your talent will not be something you hate doing. Sure, I'm really very good at scrubbing the bathroom. You can conduct a white glove inspection when I'm done, but that's not my special talent. That's not my special gift to the world. And it sure as heck never built an ounce of self-confidence for me. No, you have to really truly deeply love what it is you're doing or the talent won't show itself. You have to forget to think and lose all track of time while zoning out in the flow of creating, building, stretching, and growing with the hobby. Get to the point that when you look up and notice what you've done, that you're impressed with yourself. Practice until you get to that point where you forget to judge yourself. You could very well end up making it into your career if there's a market for it. If there isn't, no harm done. You have got to build a can-do attitude around your ability to do something well.

Once you've learned something that well, you can begin stretching beyond your comfort zone and trying other things like public speaking. Okay so that might not happen right away, but once you've really mastered something, then you can always remind yourself that you are capable of success and you are capable of learning something new. Once you know that you can practice and learn new things, then the fear of new things isn't nearly so immobilizing. You can step beyond your fears knowing that with enough practice you can master almost anything you set your mind to. At that point, you won't actually have a self-esteem problem anymore.

The point is that by playing around with something you love until you are very good at it, you will gain self-esteem and that is going to make it possible for you to hold your head high and to bravely step into other more frightening areas of life. Start out by practicing at something you love until you're good at it, then move on to the other things that don't sound like much fun at all. You'll really know deep down that there's nothing to be afraid of. It all comes down to whether or not you believe that you are capable of learning something new. That's all. Self-confident people reassure themselves when walking into unknown territory by saying, "Well, I'll just have to wing it until I learn how to do it right. I'm sure I'll figure it out soon enough." That comes from experiencing the positive effects of having practiced and learned something new. So go learn something new -- start with something fun.

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge

About The Author

Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow's Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. She became a writer in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, soulmates, and parenting. Her books and articles have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. To read more of her articles, sign up to receive her free weekly newsletter, and get free previews of her books go to http://www.TomorrowsEdge.net.

Skye@TomorrowsEdge.net

---

Motivation: 3 Keys to Lasting Change

David Bowie once sang, "Ch-ch-changes, tryin' to face the strain."There are times in life when trying to change can be a strain. If you are like most... Read More

Stop Procrastination--Just Do It!

In this article I'll talk about the reason that stops most of Internet entrepreneurs from succeeding online.Have you ever wondered why only about 5% of us are... Read More

Recommendations for the Best Personal Growth Books

I can't stress this enough: You've got to motivate yourself in order to motivate your team. You don't motivate people, they motivate themselves (or they don't). If... Read More

Finding Yourself: Finding Passion Series - 1 of 3

We have been told that the things we don't like in our children are the same things we don't like in ourselves. We are told that we... Read More

When Life Gives You Waves, Learn to S.U.R.F.

Would you like to learn a skill set and technique so powerful that you could learn to recycle every failure, disappointment, setback and discouraging situation into a... Read More

Motivation-- The Key Is In Your Actions

Have you ever read something like this as a "way to increase motivation"? :"When you open your eyes get yourself excited to be awake each new day... Read More

Motivation, Your Core Resource

Your motivation is one of the core resources you have to accomplish all the things you want to achieve.Let us get one thing clear though before we... Read More

10 Ways to Overcome Procrastination: The Challenge for Tomorrow!

Did you realize that as much as 47% of the time we spend on-line has nothing whatsoever to do with our work? In 1978 15% of the... Read More

Back to Boot Camp

You know, whenever you are going to make a major change and begin to undergo a different lifestyle, it is probably good to make a massive move... Read More

How Great is the Strength of Your Belief?

Be careful what you believe because that is what you will experience. Your belief system is a mechanism which is uniquely yours. It is powered by your... Read More

That One Thing That Guarantees Your Unlimited Motivation And Success

What can you do when you do not feel like getting started? When procrastination takes over...We all know what that feels like. You sit there staring at... Read More

If I Had 24 Hours To Live

A few years back, the ex-recording artist, turned Pastor, turned recording artist again, Mase, had a record out called "If I Had 24 hours to live?"During the... Read More

Why Do We Need Our Addictions?

If money is considered to be the root of all evil, then what would we classify as our addictions?The psychology of the human mind is ultra complex... Read More

Motivation: 5 Powerful Emotions You Can Use

Experiencing strong emotions is not uncommon. What is uncommon is applying these emotions to motivate you to change and grow.Having said that, here are five emotional states... Read More

A Perfect World ... Imbalance Creates Motivation

I am a big proponent of balance. Everything has to be just so. I believe that we should all strive to obtain balance in our lives. Balance... Read More

Self Determination - Making the Most Out of You

Breaking the mold of being a child is difficult. The mere addition of years does not make that happen. The dependency many adults choose, in fact, keeps... Read More

If Theres Money in a Dead Mouse...

My 4 year old son was very excited. I had promised him to tell a wonderful story tonight.As usual, I got engrossed in my work till late... Read More

Under The Guise of Care and Concern

These words came up powerfully for me these past few months. I have had the experience this year of being in several situations in which people's genuineness... Read More

You are the Master of Your Destiny

Every thought of a human being is transformed as picture in everybody's mind.The picture transformed into your mind will be depending upon your thought. If your thought... Read More

Change 101: How to Get the Changes You Desire

Here's a bold statement:Change can be simple and easy.It really does not have to be so hard, although sometimes we make it much harder than it needs... Read More

Get Things Done: Take 21!

Ever begin doing something that you do for a few days, and then simply stop doing it?For example, let's say you promised yourself that you were going... Read More

Bold Action: Living in the Moment

Reality show audition...I did it!What an experience, a day and a half of focused effort and fun!How many times do you find yourself saying maybe next time?Do... Read More

10 Ways to Reclaim Your Self-Esteem

The way you feel about yourself impacts how and why you do everything in life. If you feel good about who you are, then what you do... Read More

The Rate of Change

There have been many discussions and grumblings in the Western world about the ever increasing pace of change and the ability of the brain to accept it.... Read More

Choose Your Suffering - Be Willing to Pay the Price for Success!

One day when my friend Todd and I were having lunch, he let me know the best piece of marital advice he ever received. He said "Phil,... Read More

Spring! Time for Love and New Beginnings

Prepare, prepare, prepare! The horizon screams of spring and the budding trees, tulips poking their head above the soil and thoughts of romance and love fill our... Read More