Book Review: The Ring Bear Depicts Turmoil of Becoming A Stepchild

In "The Ring Bear," a picture book by Tigard resident David Michael Slater (Flashlight Press, 2004), a single mother and her son, Westley, love to play rascally pirates. Like many single parents and their kids, it's clear the mom and her son are incredibly close: They've created their own fantasy world about Westley the Wicked and Mom the Mean.

Enter Stan, Mom's boyfriend, who sometimes comes aboard their ship but refuses to wear an eye patch and doesn't want to search for stowaways. Westley thinks it's okay if Stan comes on board, as long as he understands he's a visitor, not a real pirate like Mom and Westley.

When Mom tells Westley that she's going to marry Stan and wants him to be the ring bearer at the wedding, Westley staggers back to his pretend ship. He mistakenly thinks Mom said she wants him to be the "ring bear." Imaginative Westley assumes the role of Ring Bear and acts out his confused feelings about his mom's marriage. He snatches out of Stan's hands flowers meant for his mom; he pounces on Stan and Mom when they're watching TV; he hides in his bear cave and plots ways to wreck the wedding.

In this warm and beautifully illustrated book, children get a realistic look at how it feels to have a parent re-marry. Westley knows his mom loves him; but what about Stan?

Slater, author of Cheese Louise! and a seventh grade language arts teacher, does a great job of engaging both adults and children with this humorous book. The Ring Bear, like most picture books, ends happily: Stan dons an eye patch during the wedding, then Mom, Westley and Stan sail off together. While the happy ending may not reflect the cold realities of early stepfamily life, it will give stepchildren hope about the potential for feeling loved and accepted by a new stepparent.

Lisa Cohn, an award-winning writer, is co-author of "One Family, Two Family, New Family: Stories And Advice For Stepfamilies" To sign up for her free newsletter or read her articles, visit www.stepfamilyadvice.com.

---

The Top 10 Tips on Hiring a Babysitter

1. Encourage your babysitter by keeping their favorite foods/snacks on hand.Write a thank you card to your babysitters a couple of times a year. Experienced parents always... Read More

How To Teach Your Children Social Skills

As our children grow, they will be going to schools and interacting with lots of different people other. For example, friends and teachers. Hence it is necessary... Read More

Youth In A Changing World

IntroductionChildren are the gifts of God to parents. That young child will in no time at all grow up to become a resposible future leader if he... Read More

The Great Baby Name Debate

Winifred or Willow? Thomas or Troy? The name you choose for your child will last a lifetime. Whether you're looking for something original that will stand out... Read More

CAMP INJURIES- 7 Things You Must Know

WHEN AN INJURY HAPPENS AT CAMP, HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW:The call you never want to hear is made to your home?"Your son was injured in... Read More

Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson Never Went To Public School

Most of our Founding Fathers, including Ben Franklin, Sam Adams, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and James Madison, like most average colonial Americans, spent few years, if any,... Read More

Safe From Strangers

There are few thoughts as terrifying as the abduction of your young child by a stranger. The fear causes parents to think long and hard about their... Read More

Delightful Defrazzlers

I will cherish this moment. I will not let it slip away like sand between my fingers.Yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come, but I have... Read More

Are Your Kids Driving You Crazy? How Character Building Charts Keep You Sane

Who lives in your house? Are they driving you "crazy?" Do you have a Winnie the Whiner, a Sammy the Slacker, or a Bubba the Bully? Perhaps... Read More

ZERO Tolerance: How Firm the Line?

A friend phoned her neighbor, complaining about the wafts of marijuana smoke that circled up and into to her kitchen window from the neighbor's driveway during the... Read More

Teach Your Children About the Importance of Water

The Flow of WaterWater is essential for life on the Planet, we all know this, water holds a very special place for us for that very reason.... Read More

Mom vs. Dad: Navigating Parenting Differences With All Good Intentions

Let's face it: raising children can be quite the adventure. Rewarding at one turn, challenging at the next ? it's the ultimate roller-coaster for the parenting thrill... Read More

Meet The Twixters!

There is a new stage of development for parents to consider.The stages of development are roughly the following: children move from infancy, to early childhood and onwards... Read More

The Metamorphosis of The Brain: Raising Your child to be a Brainiac

The human brain never actually stops developing. Beginning formation in early prenatal life (just 3 weeks after conception), the brain's development is a lifelong endevour, endlessly under... Read More

Picky Eater Kid Nutritional Guidelines

Although many children are picky eaters at some stage in their lives, the experts say not to worry. Unless you are feeding him or her chips and... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: How to Say NO!

Q: Whenever we tell my daughter "no," she just bugs and pesters until we give in. I know it's wrong to give in, but she makes things... Read More

Games Of The Past Meet The Present

Recently, our family had the opportunity to care for sisters' children for a couple days, when she and her husband traveled to a bed and breakfast for... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: 4 Traps to Avoid

4 traps to avoidTrap 1 - Parents need to realize the trap that is being set when your kids ask,"Well, why can't I (fill in the blank)?"Many... Read More

Create Your Dream Family

There has been much attention in the media of late on the transformation of families, Dr Phil's Phenomenal Family Series and Super Nanny to name a few.... Read More

Watch Your Language! - How Parents Can Help Kids Help Themselves

'I felt great until I walked into the classroom - then it all went wrong!'No, this wasn't a teacher talking! It was a high school student on... Read More

My Children

I have been a single mom for almost 20 years. My kids were 3, 7, 12 and 14 when my ex left.As a single mom, it's often... Read More

Top Ten Things My Six Year-Old Son Has Taught Me (So Far...)

I've learned numerous, important lessons on life, motherhood and men by being the mommy of a little boy...1) Boys really can and will go to the bathroom... Read More

Co-sleeping, a personal story

When I was pregnant, we knew that we had some fairly fixed ideas about how we wanted to raise our child, including allowing her to share our... Read More

Reincarnation: Sacred Children Series - 1 of 3

Many years ago, my children were raised on the various teachings and concepts of "magic" as I was studying different religions and spiritual beliefs. I had come... Read More

Baptisms And Alternative Ways To Hold A Naming Ceremony

Traditionally, babies have been named at a christening/baptism. Most still are, but increasingly parents are choosing an alternative, non-religious ceremony.There are three types of service... Read More

Parenting Styles - Overcoming Your Differences

If you spend any time in the parenting section of the library or your local bookstore, you will find hundreds of books on disciplining and raising your... Read More