Its a Sick World

It's no joy to be sick. It's even less joy when your child is sick. But the most unjoy is when you AND your child are sick together.

That happened to my poor wife a few weeks ago. She and Little Lady, going on three years old, both had a cold -- with all the sneezing and wheezing, hacking and coughing, wailing and whining required for a certificate of authenticity.

Little Lady normally bubble-pops with zest and vigor. Actually "bursting at the seems, bouncing off the walls and ka-booming through the roof" would be a more accurate description. So it was quite eerie to see her mope around like the drooping leaves of a Siberian Peonies that's been fed too much stale beer...not that I have a clue how the drooping leaves of a Siberian Peonies that's been fed too much stale beer would look.

Every now and then, the moping would be punctuated with a sneeze. Little Lady has a most flamboyant sneezing style, adorning the walls in unique patterns. No corner of the room is safe when she sneezes. In fact, her projection has taught her baby sister in her playpen across the room the fine art of dodging.

While I was cleaning up Little Lady's flamboyance, my wife was trying to sooth a sore throat that was threatening to rip her very insides apart. Normally she doesn't drink tea. Normally we don't even use the kettle, except to heat water for warming up the baby's bottle.

But this day was different. My wife was sick and she wanted a cup of tea. So she turned on the already full kettle, waited for it to sing, poured the water over a tea bag and sat down to enjoy a soothing cup of tea.

I walked into the room. Frequent readers will recognize this critical error of mine from past columns. You'd think I would learn.

"This tea is soooo good, honey," she said.

"Uh, where did the water come from?"

"It was in the kettle. You know, not only is it soothing, but I feel like it's cleaning out my entire insides," she smiled.

"That wasn't water in the kettle."

"What was it?" her eyes were wide in alarm.

"CLR."

"Phfrttpfrt!!!!" she blurted out. Suddenly I felt like a soggy version of our sneeze-adorned walls. I love being part of a new fashion trend.

When both your wife and daughter are sick, housework suffers. Not only are there fewer hands to clean things up, but those hands are more needy than usual. So it was with particular pride that I had managed on day 4 of their cold to actually catch up on washing the dishes.

OK, so I didn't quite catch up, but I was at the point where the stove and the table were clear of dishes. This was partly due to my uncanny talent for balancing dirty dishes several layers high on the counter, but it was also partly due to an hour-and-a-half of washing. All I could think was, "Nobody had better use any of these dishes after I spent so much time washing them."

SNEEZE!!! Oh no...more flamboyance. I put down the dish cloth and headed to the living room to survey the damage.

As I entered the living room...SNEEZE!!! I was becoming a professional sponge. All I needed was a certificate of authenticity to prove my credentials.

Before I could decide what to do next, I heard the distinct sound of juice being mixed in the very juice pitcher I had just finished washing.

I darted for the kitchen. "Noooo. I just washed that pitcher. Don't dirty it already." I lunged at my startled wife, and it took only a second to realize how useful I would have been to the Dallas Cowboys. And how useless I was in our kitchen.

It's no joy to be sick. It's even less joy when your child is sick. The most unjoy is when you AND your child are sick together. But if you want to be 100% free from all trace of joy, get sick while your child is sick and ask your sneeze-adorned husband to tackle you in the kitchen while you are trying to mix juice to wash the taste of CLR from your mouth.

About The Author

David Leonhardt publishes The Happy Guy humor column: http://www.thehappyguy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html

Read more humor articles: http://www.thehappyguy.com/humor-articles.html

Or on personal growth and self-actualization: http://www.thehappyguy.com/self-actualization-articles.html

Info@thehappyguy.com

---

Refresher Course on Diapering for Dads

It's among the top criticism wives have of their husbands: He doesn't change diapers!!Reasons dads give: 'My wife does that!" "I don't know how" and "That makes... Read More

My Best Buddy

My son, Dakota is now 7 yrs old. He is so smart for his age. I recently had a conference with his 1st grade teacher and was... Read More

The Best and Worst of Motherhood

Until the moment I became a mother, I couldn't quite understand or comprehend the depth when people say "Mothers are the strongest, most noble and loving people... Read More

Are You Frustrated With Public Schools?

Join a growing number of parents and teachers!Fact: Last year, our nation spent over $382 Billion on education. Over 99% was spent on developing "learning environments" -... Read More

A Dangerous Environment

The internet is a dangerous place for your children. Don't even begin to believe that your child is safe. There are more dangers than you can possibly... Read More

Quality Time with Your Teen

It's sometimes difficult to find ways to be involved with your teen without totally intruding in his/her life. You want to talk to them, they don't want... Read More

Resilient, Confident Kids - 10 Ways to Promote Resilience in Children

Do your children have a McChildhood? Do they experience the type of childhood that may satisfy them in the short-term as their immediate needs are met, but... Read More

Top Ten Things My Six Year-Old Son Has Taught Me (So Far...)

I've learned numerous, important lessons on life, motherhood and men by being the mommy of a little boy...1) Boys really can and will go to the bathroom... Read More

Toxic Chemicals, Are Your Children Being Exposed?

You do what you can to keep your little ones safe and healthy in this world we live in. You put your household cleaners out of reach... Read More

How You Can Help Your Child To Be An Avid Reader

Reading is the most efficient and economical way to help anyone to acquire information, knowledge, skills and improve on one self. And it is most wonderful to... Read More

Parent Involvement: Finding Your Way in Middle School and High School

In elementary school it's pretty straightforward: bringing in cupcakes to help the room mother, reading a story to the class, or helping out at the science fair.... Read More

How Children Learn

Nurture and TeachThe single most important thing caregivers can do for a child is provide a nurturing environment. By doing this, we influence children's brain development and... Read More

Educational Toys And Childrens Books - A Must For Optimal Childhood Development

The brightly colored plastic mobile dangles lazily overhead in the infant's crib. The baby coos as its tiny arms swing a rattle back and forth. In another... Read More

The Theme from MASH - Suicide is Not Painless

The Theme from MASHI flipped the button on the remote control, pausing mindlessly at each channel to see the picture on the screen; I could not motivate... Read More

Surviving as a Single Parent

Emotional OverloadMany single parents say they deal with a variety of emotional issues that you might describe as "extra baggage." Some examples include:? Self-pity? Depression? Guilt? Anger?... Read More

Does Your Child Need A Bedtime Routine? - Yes!

Do you struggle to get your child to bed at night? We sure did with our daughter. She would refuse to go to sleep in her bed... Read More

10 Tips for Making Daily Physical Activity Part of Your Childs Life!

Here's some of the bad news about sedentary lifestyles:? Forty percent of children ages 5 to 8 show at least one heart disease risk factor, including hypertension... Read More

Childhood Obesity & Parents Healthy Food Confusion

Many parents struggle to know which foods are healthy for their children. When they are able to opt for healthy choices, about two-thirds struggle to get their... Read More

Teaching Your Child To Lift a Car

Yesterday my husband Wade took the day off (that's one of the really cool things about having your own business!). The only bad thing about yesterday is... Read More

First Year With Twins - A Father?s Point Of View

People always ask my wife and I: "How did you ever do it with two babies? I just can't imagine it". My answer is always the same?we... Read More

The Secrets To Improving Childrens Behaviour

Most parents at some stage are driven to distraction by one or more of their children's annoying habits or behaviours, whether it is a toddler who continually... Read More

Misplaced Passion

"Before every action, ask yourself: Will this bring more monkeys on my back? Will the result of my action be a blessing or a heavy burden?" --Alfred... Read More

Got To, Get To ? Change The Way Your Family Thinks

I recently heard a story that has literally changed the way that I, and my family, think about life. The story is as follows:There was once a... Read More

Graduated Driver Licensing (GDL) for Teen Drivers

Drivers 16 years of age have little driving experience, putting them at high risk for traffic accidents. A series of five research papers published in a September... Read More

The Benefits of Music Education

Despite serious reductions in funding for arts programs in public schools, there is a great need for studying music. Band, orchestra, and choir all offer students... Read More

Screaming Kids Driving You Nuts? Four Rules to Help You Keep Your Sanity!

Often I will hear parents say, "I just ignore Jr. when he has a fit or screams."Though there may be times when this is appropriate it is... Read More