Mothers Day Tribute

As Mother's Day approaches I would like to give a different perspective to ponder.

Being a parent and a mother are not necessarily the same. Parenting is a gender-neutral term and refers more to the management function (hearing kids read, being a cheerleader, confidante and behaviour management expert) while mothering, like fathering, is something more instinctive, more basic and more close to the bone.

Parenting can be taught but mothering is something to grow into. Mothering (and fathering) is generative in that it develops when you come into contact with children.

Mothering, like fathering, means different things to different people. Mothering is traditionally linked with nurturance and protection of the individual, while fathering is more usually linked with challenge for the individual (dads can be hard on some of their kids!!) and protection of the group or family. It has long been my contention that a child needs to be both mothered and fathered for healthy development to occur. That is, he or she needs to experience a mixture of nurturance and challenge. Sole parents need to be both mother and father to a child, which is hard work but millions of sole parents do it.

The instinctive nature of mothering comes to the fore many times throughout a child's life, particularly when it is needed most. Most mothers generally instinctively know what a child needs at any given point in time yet many women don't listen to, let alone trust, their instincts.

Mothers can be rejected temporarily by their children. For instance, young boys can sometimes turn away from their mothers in early primary school. A five or six year old boy may let his mum know that 'being a big boy' means that you no longer kiss him goodbye outside the school gate. Or an early adolescent girl may want to spend more time with her father than with her mother because they need affirmation from the main man in their lives at that time of change. That is the instinctive nature of raising kids and the nature of mothering.

If parenting is about the headspace of raising children then mothering (and fathering) is about the heart and soul of raising kids. As a parent you may work yourself out of a job as your children move into adulthood but as a mother you are never redundant. We grow away from our parents but we never grow away from our mothers and fathers. A mother only has to look at her child in a certain way to transport them back to childhood in an instant.

It is worth remembering that the parenting maybe transient as children grow up and leave home but mothering, like fathering, is something that will never end. It is for life!

Michael Grose is one of Australia's most popular parenting educators. The author of six books for parents Michael is in heavy demand as a speaker, writer and parenting educator. Visit http://www.parentingideas.com.au and subscribe to Happy Kids, his high quality fortnightly email newsletter or sign-up for one oh his free online courses.

---

Child Education

The initial state of happiness about an own child is often overcome with annoyance after even a short period of time. Children quickly grow an own personality,... Read More

Why Consistency Is The Key To Raising Well-behaved Kids

Being consistent when children are less than perfect can make you feel dreadful. However consistency is one of the most important elements in the relationship with your... Read More

Confident Children - Avoid Overparenting

For many years underparenting was perhaps the biggest problem facing children.Recently there has emerged another type of parenting that, whilst never as harmful as underparenting, can be... Read More

Protect your Kids Early with Safety Glasses

What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There are several reasons glasses will be rated as safe. They must not only cover the front of... Read More

Where to Look for Affordable Baby Clothes

Once the newness has worn off a little, you will realize that your baby grows very fast. So fast, in fact, that he may need new clothes... Read More

Got To, Get To ? Change The Way Your Family Thinks

I recently heard a story that has literally changed the way that I, and my family, think about life. The story is as follows:There was once a... Read More

How to Deal with Your Child?s Inappropriate Behaviour

Children bombard parents with many challenging behaviours. We are delighted if their behaviour is mostly positive. But what if your child constantly demonstrates negative behaviour? How are... Read More

Your Company Vehicle is a Portable Bill Board; A word of advice on children passengers

Child Safety Restraints and children in work vehiclesIf you take your child in your work car, van, SUV or work truck, you should determine the type of... Read More

How to Stop Divorce Parental Conflict from Bursting?

It is not the divorce but the conflict arising after divorce the culprit of most psychological-adjustment problems the children are having. So, how to stop the post-divorce... Read More

You Make Me Sick And Other Things Parents Say in Anger

Maryann is so focused she's blind. She's slipped over the edge of responsibility and forgot the real reason she is working so hard. It's for her daughter.Being... Read More

Power Foods for a Powerful School Lunch

There isn't a school day that goes by that I worry about my son's lunch. Of course, I ask myself the usual questions: Is he eating what... Read More

Educational Jigsaw Puzzles, How Educational Are They?

Many companies advertise their products as being educational. How much of this terminology is sales promotion and jargon, and how much is fact?As an educator for many... Read More

Revering the Crayon Marks

"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired." --Mother Theresa 'Twas one... Read More

Develop Your Childs Critical Thinking Skills

1. Encourage Questions.Don't answer every question, instead ask what do they think. Asking questions stimulates conversation between you and your child.2. Don't Criticize.Criticism invites low self-esteem. Children... Read More

Where Will YOUR Kids Get A Job?

Let's face it.The job market is getting tougher every day.Computerization is making many jobs redundant.The Internet and modern telecommunications have allowed companies to outsource jobs to third-world... Read More

Tracking Your Child Progress

As a parent, you can learn a lot about your child's learning and watch for signs of possible problems. Here are some things to look for and... Read More

Childrens Friendships Made Easy

Most research into children's friendships shows that those children who are able to form friendships when they start school are happier at school and also learn better.More... Read More

Public-school Teachers Know Best --- They Send Their Kids To Private Schools

A study done by the Thomas B. Fordham Institute found that nationwide, public-school teachers are almost twice as likely as other parents to send their children to... Read More

Pieces of Time and Pivotal Moments

Life is comprised of pieces of time sprinkled with pivotal moments. Sometimes these moments have immediate impact. Other times, they are slow to manifest and reveal their... Read More

Child Discipline - Be Consistent With Your Child

The biggest complaint you hear from parents about their children is "they don't listen to me and I have tried everything"Then when you start talking, you find... Read More

The Neurology of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Part One

What is Happening in the brain of children, teens, and adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?The most recent models describing what is happening in the brains of... Read More

Top 50 Father Quotations

"The greatest gift I ever had Came from God, and I call him Dad! "-- Anonymous"Our earth is degenerate in these latter days; bribery and corruption are... Read More

What a Parent Must Do to Stop Online Predators

Teens can freely access the Internet from computers at school, at their friends' homes and in public places such as libraries and even from cell phones and... Read More

Can Mineral Deficiencies Lead to Behavioral Problems in Children?

A while ago I received this story from David in England, who wrote: I am following your work with great interest as I am trying to... Read More

New Mom...New Baby...New Debt?

Ah, there is nothing like being an expectant mom. Along with your expanding waistline comes the ever growing list of products for you and your new bundle... Read More

How to Give Your Child Encyclopedic Knowledge?

When you talk about multiply your child's intelligence, you can't help but to mention about Dr. Glenn Doman. He is the founder of The Institutes for the... Read More