Parenting Your Teenager: 3 More Dangerous Myths

MYTH: If you have not parented as well as you would have liked up until now, it's too late to try anything different.

REALITY: This is one of those seductive little lies that sounds so close to the truth.

But it's not.

Even if you gave up being in charge of your kids long ago, it's still not too late to parent in a different way.

They won't like it at first, but you don't need their permission, and you never did.

You can, over time, get their cooperation.

MYTH: Parents must be in control at all times.

REALITY: Well, yes and no.

If you are asking me if parents need to be in charge of the family at all times, then absolutely yes.

If you are asking me do parents need to control everything a teen-ager does, then absolutely no.

As we put them in charge of more and more areas, we are giving them enough rope, not to hang themselves, but to grow. If they demonstrate they can be in charge in a certain area, then they can have that one.

MYTH: Teen-agers are really just little adults who need their parents hardly at all.

REALITY: Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Teens, though trying on for size some of the responsibilities of the adult world, are really children who are still developing. They need us as parents to guide them through and around the traps of adolescence and young adulthood.

I saw a powerful illustration of this notion at a conference several years ago. The presenters placed several open bear traps at various places on the stage. A blind-folded teen-ager was placed on one side of the stage, his dad on the other.

The kid was to walk across the stage to his father, who represented adulthood. He made a move to take a step, and the father yelled, "Stop!" The father then walked over to the son, took off the blindfold and guided his son through the traps into "adulthood."

Now that's parenting a teen.

Leading parenting expert Jeff Herring is a teen and family therapist, parenting coach, speaker and syndicated parenting and relationship columnist. Jeff invites you to visit ParentingYourTeenager.com for 100's of tips and tools for parenting through the teenage years. You can also subscribe to his free weekly internet newsletter "ParentingYourTeenager."

---

Is My Child Lazy?

Is there a difference between lazy and unmotivated? Why do some children move as if in slow motion? Is this normal or are they just trying to... Read More

Super Nanny - A Users Guide to Watching Super Nanny

There are many things to like about the television show Super Nanny that has captured the public interest in recent weeks.First, the nanny character is very likeable,... Read More

How To Teach Your Children Self-Reliance and Potential

Self-reliance and potential are two very important values that I'd highly recommend parents teach their children.Self-reliance refer to the acceptance of responsibility for and the consequence of... Read More

How A Home Water Filter Can Reduce Your Child?s Risk Of Learning Disabilities

Lead is one of the most dangerous toxins a person can be exposed to in his lifetime. Besides damage from radioactive or nuclear chemicals, significant exposure to... Read More

I Cant Sleep Without You

When my firstborn arrived into this serene and peaceful household, my entire world was transformed into a warzone and funfare at the same time. He became the... Read More

5 Tips For Talking To Your Children About What They See In The News

Mommy (Daddy), Why do those people want to hurt everyone?Last week, the world was shaken by another terrorist attack. Hot on the heels of the Live 8... Read More

The Truth Behind Having Children

In the beginning, having children was just a byproduct of sexual instinct. Later it was a means to increase manpower for survival (hunting the mastodon, tilling the... Read More

Back to School - Disappontment?

Our back-to-school buying habits do not help kids succeed in the classroom!Parents are buying new book bags, school clothes, tennis shoes, notebooks, pens, etc., with the mistaken... Read More

Why Scrapbooking Moms are the Secret Weapon in the War on Terror

There is a front line and a back end to every successful war effort. Rosie the Riveter was an icon during World War II and she was... Read More

Child Discipline - Be Consistent With Your Child

The biggest complaint you hear from parents about their children is "they don't listen to me and I have tried everything"Then when you start talking, you find... Read More

War Declared On Instant Messenger: How to Stop Your Child from Wasting Their Life Away Online

Hey Parents! I hate to tell you, but there is no such thing as "useful instant messaging". Your crafty child might try to take advantage of your... Read More

Summer Marks the Time to Remember Active Supervision Around Family Swimming Pools

LOS ANGELES (May 19, 2005) - With Memorial Day weekend, and summer fast approaching, EMS, first responders, and water safety advocates, are bracing for the unthinkable ?... Read More

The Most Powerful Question a Parent Can Ask?

The question I have for you drives right to the heart of the matter. It could alter that tired, haggard feeling you have at the end of... Read More

Financially Stable Kids ? Prepared for College

We are all familiar with the stories that most students have when they finally get through those last days of college. Their financial states are in ruins,... Read More

The Best and Worst of Motherhood

Until the moment I became a mother, I couldn't quite understand or comprehend the depth when people say "Mothers are the strongest, most noble and loving people... Read More

Public School Sex-Education Classes --- Bad News For Parents and Children

One of parents' most important duties is to protect their children from harmful sexual values and behaviors. Yet many public schools force potentially harmful, sometimes shockingly explicit... Read More

Are Parents Trying Too Hard?

One of the implications of the current trend toward smaller families is that we now have a generation of parents who are willing to go to enormous... Read More

A Little Love, Please?

Article based on a friend's experienceI just wanted to share an experience I just had with my daughters, Yee Ting and Yee Sin.Yee Ting is three years... Read More

The ABCs of Raising Twins

As a mother of two sets of fraternal boy/girl twins, I am often asked, "How do you do it?" I do not have an answer. I am... Read More

What is Incest?

Incest is sexual activity, ranging from fondling to intercourse, between family members who aren't married to one another. State laws vary regarding the type of sexual activity... Read More

Working Moms vs. Stay-at-Home Moms, Lets Stop Debating Each Other and Debate the System Instead!

I could nearly fund my children's future education if I received money every time I've heard a woman say, "I wish I could afford to stay at... Read More

Pet Loss Can Be Just As Devastating!

'And all because of a damned cat! It's only a cat, for God's sake!'I'll never forget the wracking sobs of the girl sitting before me, and the... Read More

Whos Your Daddy? How to be a Great Dad in 5 to 7 Minutes

I am a dad. I have been now for over 8 years. And I suppose I don't know just everything there is to know about being a... Read More

Ten Helpful Little Tips For New Parents

The Greatest Gifts in Life, which are always created for free, but never come with instructional guide, are your children. The following suggestions may help any new... Read More

Ben Franklin and Thomas Jefferson Never Went To Public School

Most of our Founding Fathers, including Ben Franklin, Sam Adams, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and James Madison, like most average colonial Americans, spent few years, if any,... Read More

Single Parenting: How The Challenge Of Single Parenting Affects Your Decision To Divorce

Single parenting has seemingly become an acceptable norm which is unfortunate. According to the US Census Bureau, there were over 20 million single parents in the United... Read More