Personal Honor

There are moments in a parent's or grandparent's life, when they receive validation for the way they are living, or, have lived, that life. These moments are usually quiet ones, with no fanfare celebrating the occasion. Yet, the importance of these moments has no equal. To those of us who have given of our time, our love, our care, ourselves, they are of far greater private, personal significance, than can be stated.

A few years ago, I found myself in a personally trying situation. It was during this period that I was paid what I feel will be the finest compliment I shall ever receive. It concerned my conduct during this time. My eldest daughter remarked that she believed me to be the most honorable person she would ever know. For me, as a parent, it was a defining moment.

I was blessed with another such moment recently, courtesy of my eldest grandson. Although he's a teenager now, we maintain the close relationship begun in his early years. We enjoy conversing. No subject is taboo, and he feels free to discuss whatever is of interest to him, or of concern. On this particular occasion, he was endeavoring to put into words, his feelings concerning something that was of great importance to him. By his demeanor, his urgency of voice, I realized this was something with which he had been struggling.

He began by seeking my opinion. What did I think of people who were always changing? Well, I remarked, in life, it's good to remain flexible. Narrow-minded thinking limits a person's potential. He shook his head. No, he wasn't talking about that. He said he realized a person must have an open mind. He was speaking of how people live their lives. I listened to him, as he continued endeavoring to impart his meaning to me. Suddenly the meaning dawned on me. I asked if he were talking about personal honor. Was he referring to the personal rules of conduct we adopt for ourselves, the morals we choose? Yes, he replied, that was it exactly! Why, he wanted to know, did people sometimes abandon these? Wasn't that like not being true to yourself? Didn't they feel bad about themselves? Wasn't that like letting your self down?

I looked at this young man, this human being for whom I feel so much love, and chose my next words with great care. Yes, son, I said to him, it's letting your self down. Choosing actions that go against your personal code of honor diminishes you, as a human being. Even during the most trying times in life, especially during those times, remaining true to your self is of utmost importance. Even when certain actions are perfectly acceptable to others, or when they seem to be the easier choices, or when said actions may in some way benefit you in the short term. In the end, if they go against your core beliefs, you will carry the ill consequences with you, for the rest of your life.

He listened intently to my words. I could see him weighing them, mulling over the concept. He then nodded, and replied that yes, he understood. He went on to say that there were things he felt he would not, could not do, and stay true to himself. He stated what I had told him was like when a person does something wrong, and even if no one else ever knows, the person who does the act carries the guilt of it. He remarked that he hoped he would be strong enough, in life, to never let him self down. I replied that I had great faith in the fact that he would indeed, have enough strength. He smiled, and said, I love you Grams. In a voice touched with deep pride, and sincere affection, I replied that I was rather fond of him, too.

There are moments, in the lives of parents and grandparents...

Jeannine Schenewerk is a freelance writer residing in Atlanta, Georgia. She maintains an informative, upbeat site for mature women at: http://www.intouchwithjeannine.com

---

Raising Kids on a Budget

There are only two ways to get more money:1) Increase your income and 2) Decrease your outgo.B Buy what you need, not what you want. U Use... Read More

How To Teach Your Children Love

I was in the life insurance sales industry for over 8 years. One of best teaching that I have learned from the industry and found in all... Read More

Humans and Their Innate Need for Drug Stimulation

We know that ancient cultures and Indians and the like across the globe used such mind-altering drugs to alter their states. Still today in the world we... Read More

Childhood Friendships

Childhood friendships are as special as they are a necessary part of growing up. While some of our children will maintain these friendships into adulthood, many will... Read More

How to Deal with Your Child?s Inappropriate Behaviour

Children bombard parents with many challenging behaviours. We are delighted if their behaviour is mostly positive. But what if your child constantly demonstrates negative behaviour? How are... Read More

How to Get Your Children Brand Free

Those of you that have children know what an excursion to the local mall or supermarket can be like. If you're not careful, this simple trip can... Read More

Sometimes Our Childrens Questions Answer Our Own

I was changing Ford's diaper the other day when he asked, "Mom, will we always have Tanner?"Tanner is the family dog, and at twelve-years old, her health... Read More

March of the Penguins - A Fun Learnig Tool

Everyone loves penguins. And now, everyone has a chance to see how penguins live in the highly entertaining documentary March of the Penguins. No need to tell... Read More

?I?M OVERWHELMED? -- 5 Tips On How Parents Can Take Control Of Their Lives

Are you feeling overwhelmed being a parent? Do you want to feel more relaxed and empowered raising your child? Working parents, stay-at-home parents, visiting parents ? it... Read More

Parental Involvement in Learning

Whether children attend public or private schools, they benefit when parents become involved in their education. According to the National Institute for Literacy, when parents or other... Read More

ADD / ADHD Children : Being Your Childs Best Friend

Do you live with an ADD / ADHD child? If so-- my hat is off to you! ADD / ADHD children are brilliant, full of energy, smart... Read More

Math Facts - Try Some Fun Ways to Learn Them

Memorizing math facts is a necessary part of elementary school. Flash cards and repetitive chanting have their place, but, for my children, were pure drudgery. Frustrated by... Read More

Book Review: The Ring Bear Depicts Turmoil of Becoming A Stepchild

In "The Ring Bear," a picture book by Tigard resident David Michael Slater (Flashlight Press, 2004), a single mother and her son, Westley, love to play rascally... Read More

Teaching Kids the Value of Money

My husband and I have a 12-year-old daughter who wanted to go to a winter retreat with her church youth group last year. Price of trip ?... Read More

Is Your Child Having Trouble in School?

Did you know that the school system is only able to meet 50% of student learning needs?That's right! - only 50% of the student population is in... Read More

To Clean or Not To Clean

Before my daughter was born my house was so tidy and immaculate that you could eat off the floor! Dishes were done immediately (no dishwasher... Read More

Influencing Adolescents - Guided Democracy

You need to smart to be able influence adolescents. You need to be able to stand back a little, hold your tongue and wait your turn to... Read More

Parenting: Blending Familes - 9 Universal Laws

The law of -ing.The law of -ing refers to a misnomer in the way we talk about this special kind of family. By calling them "blended families,"... Read More

Cyber Parenting 101

Many parental units are not "techies" and openly admit they are not. They seem to use that as an excuse to not be informed and "trust" their... Read More

How Can I Teach My Child To Be Responsible?

Most of us when asked what we want our children to become, we include "responsible" among other things such as happy, fulfilled and caring. We want our... Read More

Think Like Your Kids - And Understand Them More!

Seven-year old Michael was on a school trip to a Wildlife Centre in Central Scotland. It was near the end of the day and they were in... Read More

The 411 on Natural Colic Remedies

Any parent whose baby has suffered from colic can tell you that colic is one of the most excruciating experiences ever imaginable. Nothing is worse than seeing... Read More

Children?s Birthday Party Planning: When and When Not to Have a Big Party

Age 1: Invite only family members and close friends only because this birthday is more for the parents than for the child. At age 1, a child... Read More

THE NEW SCHOOL VISIT: 5 Things to Look For

Today the little red school house is not what it use to be, and along with changes in how our schools are funded, how they are governed,... Read More

Psychological Effects of Child Abuse

Many children who suffer from the psychological effects of child abuse often become child abusers themselves or can become perpetrators of violent crimes. Many inmates in our... Read More

Confident Children - Avoid Overparenting

For many years underparenting was perhaps the biggest problem facing children.Recently there has emerged another type of parenting that, whilst never as harmful as underparenting, can be... Read More