Raising a Violent-Free Teen in 10 Easy Steps

The disquieting behavior of teenagers in the 21st century, is being hailed by experts as a disturbing trend among troubled youth. Such an interpretation may be factual, but mental heath advocates maintain there are guidelines parents can utilize before problems reach the critical stage.

They contend the problems of youngsters who defy parental authority is rooted in changes in the outside world as well as relationships in the home. For example, in recent years, we have witnessed a breakdown in discipline and the disruption of family authority. Family structures are not as strong as they once were, nor are roles as well defined. Often there is conflict between parents. Moreover, peer involvement has surpassed family involvement.

In a society where law and order tend to spiral out of control, children are apt to see parents engage in abusive or corrupt behavior. Similarly, the increase in violence and moral degradation encourages children to ask parents, Who are you to tell us what to do? Look at how youre living and have you have messed up the world? As children become older, they generally separate from the family, however, they still need guidance. It is at this stage, that parents are encouraged to exercise their flexibility and supervision skills. How parents enforce those rules will influence their success in maintaining them.. Below are 10 suggestions, that if followed fastidiously, will produce incredible results.

1. Parental Accountability. Instead of raising their own children, parents are relying on teachers and other authority figures to fill the role of mom and dad. To counteract trouble, it is imperative that parents become familiar with their childrens universe: habits, friends, social network and extra curricular activities.

2. Setting the Rules. Parents should set their own standards, however, it is a good idea to check with other parents, and perhaps the school about prevailing views on curfews, alcohol and other pertinent issues. You cant always trust children to accurately report about regulations in other families. Thus, it is important to remember that each family is different, so rules will vary.

3. Parents should not differentiate on the rules. Both parents should agree on a course of action and support each other. Kids will use every opportunity to take advantage of differences between parents. For example: Roger, a 15-year-old with an overactive libido is told by his macho dad that its normal for teenage boys to have sex with multiple partners, but his mom espouses abstinence. As a result of this discrepancy, Justin is totally confused. The solution: Parents should determine how to handle troubling aspects of their childrens lives (sex, drugs, alcohol, rebellion) and agree on a specific strategy. Reluctance and hesitance is not acceptable. According to experts, if a child senses friction, he/she is apt to pit one parent against the other creating a major headache.

4. Discuss the rules with your children. Explain your position calmly, and be prepared to back up your ideas. Remember, things have changed a great deal since you were your childrens age. Listen carefully to your children. Particularly the oldest, who usually has the toughest time because he or she is a trailblazer for those who follow.

5. Rules must be geared to the ability of the child to handle responsibility. Development in adolescence is uneven not only physically, but also emotionally. One 16-year-old may be able to manage a flexible curfew, but another may not be mature enough. If rules are not followed, parents must first examine their own roles, expectations and motivations. Are they contributing to the problem? Are the demands arbitrary and unreachable? Example: Vulgar language. What kind of language do the parents use? If every word out of their mouth is filthy or offensive, theres a strong probability the children will develop the same habit. Violent Behavior. Children arent born with a penchant for violence. Instead, it is learned from parents and other adults. If you exhibit violent behavior in front of your children, anticipate problems in the future.

6. Let children know whos in charge. Parents who are afraid of their children and let them run amuck are bound to have problems. Unlike prior generations, a barrage of laws protect todays youth, which makes it difficult for parents to dispense discipline. Despite the legal process, parents should make it clear that they are in charge, and children as long as they are under their roof are obliged to obey rules.

7. Avoid hostile confrontations. Create an atmosphere where troubling situations are expressed with positive reinforcement. If parents discover their daughter is using drugs they should refrain from losing control. Instead, they should remain calm and point out the dangers of substance abuse. After explaining your position, seek professional help. If the child refuses to undergo treatment, as a parent you are required to see that she is admitted to a chemical dependency program within 36 hours.

8. Never tag a child with the worthless label. According to experts, children are very impressionable. If a youngster is repeatedly told he is no good, he will act in accordance with that image. Thus, he begins to lives up to that reputation and is more likely to get into trouble. Defiant behavior is often used to get attention or to test limits.

9. Always deal with your child with understanding. Children react to fairness. However, it is OK to be angry if your anger is motivated by your concern for their safety. It is your job to protect them; however parents should not protect their children if they commit a serious crime. If a child is found guilty of stealing or destroying public property, he or she should be given the punishment befitting the crime.

10. Treat each child equally. Avoid paying too much attention to one child, while purposely ignoring the other. Remember that each child is born with unique abilities, unlike anyone else. Learn to appreciate each childs talent and individuality. If parents follow these suggestions, perhaps unruly children will become a thing of the past, rather than a trend of the future.

About The Author

A freelance writer since 1989, Butler has written for various magazines and Internet publications including Impact Press, Africana.com., TimBook Tu, and The Black World Today. Moreover, Butler who lists collecting 60s memorabilia among her hobbies, writes news, features, sports and entertainment articles, as well as commentaries and humor pieces. Currently, she is a contributor for Theblackmarket.com. For further information visit her website at: www.Psbwrite.com

Publisher987@wmconnect.com

---

Guide to Choosing LEGO Toys for Children

If you're looking for toys that are both fun to play with and educational for your child, LEGO toys are a very good option.LEGO toys are known... Read More

Fizzy Sherbet ? A Sweet Science Lesson for Your Kids!

Fizzy sherbet in a paper bag with a strawberry lollipop was probably my favorite treat as a child, but I never knew what was in the sherbet... Read More

What You Should Know About Counseling for Attention Deficit Disorder

At the ADHD Information Library we are big believers that you should not just be giving a child with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder medication without also providing... Read More

Potty Training Caveats- Dont Start Too Soon

The First Reason: For one thing, child development experts are concerned that previous generations of parents were putting too much pressure on their children to potty train... Read More

How to End the Misery of Bedwetting

When a child wets the bed they worry. Children tend to become dry during the day more easily than at night. During the day they are awake... Read More

Helping Your Kids Handle Divorce

Every year over one million parents have to talk to their kids about divorce. For each parent, the discussions differ, but the goals of the discussions are... Read More

Calming Tips for Hyperactive Children

Parents of hyperactive children know the "Would you please just settle down?!" phrase well, and likely use it on a regular basis.There are a number of tips... Read More

A New Idea For Kids Party Parties: Hiring A Caricaturist Can Make Your Kids Party A Real Blast!

There's a new trend for party entertainment. It seems as though Caricature art is the way to go. Parents are seeking out artist to come to their... Read More

For School Success, Dont Coddle Your Kids

Parents want their children to succeed in school. However, sometimes their best intentions are misguided. Attempts to provide children with a wonderful life can, in fact, increase... Read More

Help Your Child Do Better in School

1. Create a personal schedule Recording everything that must be done on a calendar or... Read More

A Dangerous Environment

The internet is a dangerous place for your children. Don't even begin to believe that your child is safe. There are more dangers than you can possibly... Read More

Is a Mothers Love, Medicine?

Minus all meningitis thoughts. The flu symptons were strong. Headache, burning fever and sore throat. So what does any natural mother do when their offspring takes ill.... Read More

The Safest Stuffed Toys for the Kids on your Gift List

Although it's hard to say when the first stuffed dogs appeared, I would guess that it was soon after dogs were domesticated. We do know that as... Read More

Protect your Kids Early with Safety Glasses

What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There are several reasons glasses will be rated as safe. They must not only cover the front of... Read More

What is Prenatal Intelligence?

Prenatal intelligence, also known as fetal intelligence, has become a very hot topic among medical professionals and expecting parents because of the affects it might have on... Read More

Elephants and Teenagers

Something eerily familiar happened in KwaZulu-Natal's Hluhluwe-Umfolozi Park in Africa recently.The adult elephants were taken away and the orphaned youngsters were left to fend for themselves.The youngsters... Read More

Just Average

What do you mean average? Not good? Just doing good enough?That's what came out in Joshua's report card recently. Looking back, I wasn't too bright a child... Read More

Eco-Parenting

Arabella Greatorex, owner of The Natural Nursery, reports on the rapidly rising demand for natural, environmentally friendly and ethically sound parenting products and highlights some of the... Read More

The Hardest Job I Ever Had

I used to have a really challenging job. It was stressful and demanding, high pressure and large responsibilities.I was really good at it too. Really, I was.Then... Read More

Raise Your Child to Be a Leader Not a Follower

Your child's leadership skills begin at the family dinner table. In this day of working moms and fast food eating, sitting down together for dinner is sometimes... Read More

5 Great Tips For Choosing Safe Toys For Your Children

Every children in the world whishes to have toys and every parent trys to give them what they want. So until they grow-up children spend most of... Read More

How Well Do You Know Your Child?

Do you think you really know your child? I don't mean know what he/she likes and doesn't like, but to know him/her well enough to understand his/her... Read More

Single Parenting: How The Challenge Of Single Parenting Affects Your Decision To Divorce

Single parenting has seemingly become an acceptable norm which is unfortunate. According to the US Census Bureau, there were over 20 million single parents in the United... Read More

Parents of Teens: Do You Ever Ask WHY is she so MEAN to me?

Do you ever wonder what is behind the occasional nasty attitudes expressed by your teenager? Teenagers can make their parents feel pretty badly at times; if they... Read More

Drinking and Driving: Will Your Child Become a Statistic?

Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added to the overwhelming statistics of drunk-driving, related deaths. One minute, he's full of vitality and attending our... Read More

Swing Sets and Outdoor Play Equipment- 5 Essential Tips Before You Buy

For first time parents choosing a swing set or outdoor play equipment can be a daunting task. There are so many different materials to choose from and... Read More