The Twenty-First Century Parent

John was a 43 year-old sales manager at a large company. He's married and has 3 children, ages 7, 9, and 12. His wife works part-time as a nursing assistant, and they both do as much as they can to parent their children well.

John has developed serious doubts about his ability to be an effective parent in the last couple of years. All of his kids are involved in after school activities, and his demands at work are greater than they've ever been. His lack of time with his kids bothers him a great deal, but he doesn't dare take more time off from work. He's also bothered by his inability to get his kids to listen to him, and he's resorted to yelling and threats as measures of discipline.

John's family seems rushed all the time, and the routines in the morning and at bedtime are almost always chaotic. He often doesn't have the energy when he gets home from work to spend quality time with his kids, and he feels his relationships with them are growing more distant. In particular, he's struggling with his twelve-year-old daughter's behavior. John feels he has little in common with her at this stage in their lives.

Welcome to the life of an American parent in the 21st century.

There are many reasons that parenting today is more difficult than in years past. Here are a few of them:

? The typical, middle income married couple family works 3,885 hours ? that's an increase of 247 hours, or nearly six weeks, more than their counterparts ten years ago.

? Working couples lost an average of 22 hours a week of family and personal time between 1969 and 1999.

? In the last three decades, American families are eating 33% fewer meals together as a family.

? In 1990, the American advertisers spent 100 million dollars advertising to children. In 2000, they spent 2 billion dollars in their advertising to children.

Alvin Toffler once said, "Parenthood remains the greatest single preserve of the amateur." For too long, parents have taken on the most important job they'll ever have with little or no training. Parents can't afford to be amateurs anymore. They must arm themselves with the knowledge, support, and discipline needed to parent their kids effectively. They must take responsibility for the impact their parenting will have on their children. And they must recognize that in today's culture, their kids need them to be there more than ever.

In John's case, hiring a coach helped him to:

? Simplify the life of his family, so they could spend more time together.

? Learn positive discipline skills, so the daily routines went more smoothly and there were fewer conflicts.

? Develop a plan to put in place when he got angry, so he wouldn't do or say something he'd regret later.

? Learn stress reduction skills, both at work and at home, and to learn how to "transition" between work and home.

? Learn how to be less judgmental with his daughter, and to find specific ways to be more connected with her.

Though parenthood can be extremely difficult and challenging at times, it can also be incredibly fulfilling and enjoyable. Most of us would never think of starting a new career without the information and training necessary to be effective. Do we think our job as a parent is less important? Effective parenting skills can be learned by anyone who cares enough to commit to them, and by anyone who knows the importance of good parenting to the future of their kids.

It's time for parents to consider ways they can improve. It may be the best investment they'll ever make.

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, coaches busy parents by phone to balance their life and improve their family relationships. For a FREE twenty minute sample session by phone; ebooks, courses, articles, and a FREE newsletter, go to http://www.markbrandenburg.com or email him at mark@markbrandenburg.com.

---

My Dads Secrets

From the book Spider's Night on the BoomI've only begun to understand my dad since I became a father myself, and it's amazing to me how I'm... Read More

Send Your Child to College FREE!

College is one of the largest expenses through the course of your childâ??s life. It is also one of the main causes of debt in America. With... Read More

Childhood Obesity

Economist John Kenneth Galbraith has said that more people die in this country of too much food than of too little. It's an appalling notion - but... Read More

Parenting

This article on parenting is by a practicing relationship counsellor/therapist, and father.The following suggestions will be useful for any parent or caregiver who wants to improve their... Read More

Advising Teens? Getting Your Point Across

Giving advice to a teenager is very easy; getting a teenager to take that advice is another matter altogether. It's not only a case of the advice... Read More

COMMITMENT: Teaching Children the Lessons of a Lifetime

It's been said, time and again, that for a child to learn what is most important, he must be shown the lessons through example, not through words.... Read More

From Childrens Stories to Study Skills: Help Your Children Succeed in School

IntroductionAs a parent who wants the best for your children, there are undoubtedly many things that you already do every day to help your children succeed in... Read More

How Effective Are Ritalin and Dexedrine in Treating the Symptoms of ADHD?

Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant medication, such as Ritalin and Dexedrine in their various forms, in treating the symptoms of Attention Deficit... Read More

Five Easy Steps to Picking the Perfect Baby Name

One of the few decisions you'll make during pregnancy that will, in fact, last throughout your child's lifetime is the choice of your baby's name. (Unlike, for... Read More

Advantages of Using a Board Certified Pediatrician

When a child is born, a new number is added to the parental speed dial. When a child wakes his parents up in the middle of the... Read More

Responsible Fatherhood - A Unique And Irreplaceable Role!

Something happened the other day that made me feel uneasy. Yet I shouldn't have felt that way!My wife had left for work and I was hanging the... Read More

The Mystery of Child Beliefs, Spirit in Children, Understanding Spirtuality in Children

In the wonderment of childhood, it is easier for a child to find Spirit and belief than it is for adults! Tainted with the experiences of the... Read More

How to Set Healthy Limits at Work

Back in college, I wrote for a five-day-a-week, award-winning campus newpaper. My skills were growing and I was earning a reputation as a solid reporter.I was miserable.If... Read More

Time, Stress, and a Baby

The main thing we noticed since having a baby is that time is a more valuable good. We do not have enough time for many things or... Read More

Old-Fashioned Ways to Inspire Children

"Walk through any toy store and you will see walls and walls of toys that are loud -- toys that require batteries, have flashing lights, or that... Read More

15 New Years and Holiday Resolutions For Parents

Have you made your usual New Year resolutions? You know the resolutions where you turn over a new leaf to get fit, steer away from junk food... Read More

Remember The Generation Gap?

The techniques of managing relationships between parents and their children is as old as.. well, parents having children. It's not an easy job, either for the parent... Read More

Why Scrapbooking Moms are the Secret Weapon in the War on Terror

There is a front line and a back end to every successful war effort. Rosie the Riveter was an icon during World War II and she was... Read More

ADHD: A Dialogue With a Non-Believer, part three

Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read the article What You Should Know About Attention Deficit Disorder by Edward W. after having it handed... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Teens and Violence

I have a bit of a different response than most therapists to the often asked question:"How can all this teen violence be happening?"My questions are:"How could this... Read More

Potty Training Battle of the Wills

Some children practically potty train themselves, while others struggle and resist against the potty. Potty training should never turn into the battle of the wills. If it... Read More

Children Need Roots and Wings

"Good parents give their children Roots and Wings." --Jonas SalkThe first time I heard this quote, it made me think. The two sound contradictory - roots and... Read More

Help Your Children to Love Reading

It is so important to create an environment that promotes the love of reading. Not only is reading necessary for survival in today's world, it is educational,... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Of Course You Can Search Your Teens Room

Q. We recently caught our son smoking pot, and we wonder whether he's doing more stuff. We have reason to believe he has been hiding drugs in... Read More

Secret Of Your Genuis Child

Here is a top secret to make your child genius or ot recognise his geniusness, it is as follows Graphology for Child development.:- Graphology is the science... Read More

War Declared On Instant Messenger: How to Stop Your Child from Wasting Their Life Away Online

Hey Parents! I hate to tell you, but there is no such thing as "useful instant messaging". Your crafty child might try to take advantage of your... Read More