In Stephen Covey's great book, "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People", he talks about the 'emotional bank account', where you have to build a credit in your relationship with the individuals who you work with (and everyone else as well!).
If what you do isn't 'trustworthy', then all you have done in your gentle listening and asking great and interested questions to build, is to 'debit' your account. And if you do more of this than the credit you build, then you will never get your folks on your side. But what is trust?
You can't invest more wisely than by listening fully to what interests the person you are in conversation with. So, ask more questions about what they tell you. Easy as that - it's a simple tool, but really builds trust too.
Here are a few other things which generate their trust in you:-
Sounds simple, yet often it is done without thinking. On busy days what you say does get taken in, yet you forget. Don't! People hang on what you say - so it must be the truth!
A biggy this. What you say holds a far greater importance to the person you say it to than maybe you, who say so much stuff all day long. If you say you will do something for someone, then do it - or don't say you will.
And separate from promises. Actions. Your people look on you to facilitate their delivery of the business. You can smooth things out, make things happen, provide resources. So if you say you are going to fix things, then please do it! Hey, even more, do a little more!
When you are talking with your people make sure you give them full attention and the courtesy of enough time. Put them first not second (or even third). Switch your phone or pager off. Put off other interruptions.
By ensuring that you treat all of your people the same, you will build their trust hugely. It is a sense of sharing and caring that comes from everyone, even you, being equal in an emotional sense, so building a common bond.
You need to be disciplined enough that you have no closer 'friends' than everyone. If you treat some people more 'equally' than others, it sure gets noticed, creates divisions and loses that pulling together which you need.
Your folks get twitchy if you are erratic in your behaviour and attitudes. By modifying your behaviours to be consistent (and if you aren't have someone tell you).
And in the thing about consistency and fairness and no favourites, remember you. You cannot be different. You cannot afford to behave in a way that shows favouritism to yourself.
Your people who you want onside need to be nurtured and cared for. Encouraged and engaged. It needs you to be able to relieve their fear of getting things wrong. Your people can make mistakes. It's OK! Then you will get them experimenting and trying stuff - all of which will be generating great solutions. Let them!
People always have things which are important to them - and it isn't always their work! So find out what it is and honour that - it builds their trust in you, because you value them.
If you have issues or problems with people, be honest with them and let them know. It's about what they do and not about them as people - but be honest enough to work with them and not talk about them behind their back
Your people try their best - by acknowledging them for this, they will trust you more and more.
Building trust is not only the most valuable thing that you can do with your people, but it is the most important thing that you must do.
© 2005 Martin Haworth is a Business and Management Coach. He works worldwide, mainly by phone, with small business owners, executives and corporate leaders. He has hundreds of hints, tips and ideas at his website, http://www.coaching-businesses-to-success.com
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